Lily
by redroses100
Summary: Things turn out a bit differently for the Enterprise and her crew when a girl from the past starts talking to Khan while he's aboard. For some reason, he likes Lily, and for some reason, she likes him. But it might just end up being the death of her. AU AU AU AU AU need i say it again? AU
1. Chapter 1

_AN: Hey so this idea got into my head and wouldn't leave me alone. I hope you like it, but there are a few things you** NEED TO KNOW BEFORE READING!**_

_Hopefully that got your attention and you're reading this. The time period my O.C. comes from is based off our current time period, but she says 1991 because based on the Star Trek time line, that's about when they thought 2013 would be, in terms of technology and blah. So she's from 1991, but imagine 2013 while you read it. Also, I did my best making the dialogue authentic, but if somethings off, don't kill me please. This is definitely an AU. Okay I think that's it, read on._

OOOOO

I'm not really sure where I'm going as I wander the halls. I know every nook and cranny of the ship, but I have nothing else to do at the moment, so I find walking to be a good activity. Everyone else is busy dealing with the current mission, and all the things that have happened over the course of the last two days. We lost Jim as captain, gained Pike as captain, lost Pike as captain, then got Jim back as captain. And then we went on a mission to where else but the Klingon Home world, Kronos!

On top of that, everyone seems to have either left me or found something more important than me. Scotty quit, taking his alien friend with him. Chekov's been so busy with the busted warp core, along with every member of Engineering and most of the Science members. Sulu is trying to make sure Klingon's don't attack us and keeping communications up. The new Dr. Marcus woman and Bones are trying to open a torpedo, and Spock, Jim and Nyota are all busy making sure it goes according to plan! Everyone it seems has something to be doing, except me!

Well, everyone except the prisoner. John Harrison, I think his name is. He bombed London, and then attacked Star Fleet headquarters, killing poor Captain Pike. And then he fled to Kronos, which is why we went there. And, the rumor I've heard is, he killed an entire squadron of Klingon's! With only minimal help from the Captain, Spock, and Nyota! He doesn't sound like a nice person, at all. And hell knows I've had enough of mean people. But, I've nothing better to do! And maybe he's as bored as I am.

I change my course, now knowing where I'm going, and I can only hope Jim won't be mad with me. I know he was very close with Captain Pike, and that everything John Harrison does annoys and angers him. But maybe he'll understand. And he seems to have a bit of a soft spot for me. Whenever I do something wrong or I don't understand something, he's very patient and doesn't very much punish me.

The doors swish open as I reach the brig, and two pairs of eyes immediately turn to me. The Lieutenant in charge of the brig smiles at me, and I at him. Since I've had so much time on my hands the last few months, I've learned the names and personalities of every person aboard the ship, as I've explored it. Lieutenant Grism is a particularly nice fellow, who beckons me over to his desk as soon as he seems me. I glance at the prisoner as I happily flounce to the desk.

The best way I can describe John Harrison is tall, dark, and handsome. He's quite magnificently gorgeous, but there's a darkness about him that just screams a past of aggression and danger and pain. Maybe I don't want to shoot the breeze with him after all. He looks at me as I look at him, his eyes taking in every inch of me and processing it. Recognition lights his eyes, though I can't for the life of me understand how he could possibly recognize anything about me.

"What brings you down here Lily?" Grism asks when I reach his desk.

"I'm so bored, what with everyone in crisis mode. It seems like everyone's got something they need to be doing, and here I am, with absolutely nothing!" I say dramatically. He smiles fondly, little crinkles appearing at the corner of his eyes.

"Well I'd give you some errands if they weren't in restricted parts of the ship." He tells me apologetically. I instantly sense the hint in his voice. I think he knows that I want to talk to the prisoner, and I think he knows the prisoner will talk back to me if we're alone. He's much cleverer than he lets off. And he too has a soft spot for me. He'd let me have a tea party with the prisoner if I asked him really really nicely. Well, maybe not to that extent, but you get the point.

"Well, I'll stay and man the desk, if you need to run your errands. I promise not to let anyone out." We both grin, since John Harrison is the only one in the brig and there's no way anyone would let him out. Not after what he's done, and all the harm he could do. I don't care how charming or manipulative he could potentially be. I'm pretty immune to such things anyways.

"You're a life saver my dear. You know the drill, press the button and speak for anything you need." He tells me, pointing at the intended button, before he pats my shoulder and sidles off. I watch him go, the door sliding shut behind him, before falling overly dramatically onto his chair and spinning in it idly.

"You're not Star Fleet." I actually jump at the deep baritone voice that comes from my prisoner companion. I honestly hadn't expected him to speak first, and I definitely didn't expect such a powerful heart stopping voice. I swear that voice could be made of thunder. I look at him as I spin in Grism's chair and shake my head. "Nor are you from the present. You are from the past." He adds, the corner of his lips twitching into the tiniest of smiles.

"Look who knows how to use his deduction skills! Am I all that obvious though?" Again I see his eyes flit over my appearance quicker than lightening, and smirk to myself. Usually I wear Star Fleet clothes, but today I pulled out the clothes I had when I beamed aboard the Enterprise. Light blue jeans with tears in the knees and around the feet. A black T-shirt with my favorite band's logo on it. Brown tennis shoes looking a little worse for the wear. And a braided para-cord bracelet that my brother made me...before. I look absolutely out of place in the impeccably sterile white of the ship brig.

"You do stand out. Let me guess...80's? 90's?"

"1991." I say with a smile. His grin grows now, and it's slightly frightening. But, I'm too good at hiding my discomfort for him to notice.

"Before my time even. How did you come to be aboard the Enterprise?" He asks, actually sounding interested.

"I was in the right place at the right time. Scotty was fixing the transport pad and was testing it near a black hole. Somehow, through some strange physics equation I don't know, I ended up here." I explain quickly. He looks like he wants to say something, but I quickly start up again. "It's only fair that you should answer one of my questions now. You said I'm from "before your time". What does that mean?" I ask, kicking my feet up onto the desk and leaning back, trying to look relaxed when I really don't feel it. He looks me over, this time not just at my appearance. I'm wouldn't be surprised if he could tell what I'm thinking, with the intensity of his gaze, but I try not to show how badly it shakes me.

"I come from the Eugenics war, something you would know of had you remained in your time for another few years. I was created in 1995, one of the last Augments to be made." The thing is, I do know what the Eugenics war is. I've done a fair bit of reading over the months I've been on the Enterprise, and the Eugenics War was a big thing I read about. But, there were no records of the actual leaders or Augments, that I could access anyway, so I still have no idea who he is. He watches me as I process it, no doubt noticing how I react to the knowledge that he's an Augment. "What is your name?" He asks.

"I'm Lily. Lily Watcher. What's your name?" Because I highly doubt it's actually John Harrison. If he's really an Augment, a genetically superior superhuman, John just doesn't seem to cut it.

"I was under the impression everyone knew my name, after the events of the last few days." He states, with a small roll of the eyes and a grimace of boredom settling on his features. Obviously I'm letting him down with my ignorance. I grin.

"I mean your real name. You're not John Harrison any more than I'm a Vulcan." I state. His look of boredom vanishes so quickly I'm struggling to remember it was there. Instead he quirks an eyebrow in interest.

"I am Khan Noonien Singh. And I must admit I am impressed by your keen perception. None of the others have been able to see through me."

"They weren't looking like I was. They all just see the terrorist who killed Captain Pike." I shrug, not as impressed with myself. "I think it's your turn." I state, getting a bit too uncomfortable with the way he looks at me.

"So we're playing a game? Answering questions for each other?" He sounds absolutely annoyed by the prospect of playing such a game, but I can see how excited he actually is. Apparently I'm the first one to spend the time to play such a game with him. And I'm offering up just as much as I'm taking, instead of just interrogating him. And being sorta witty as I'm doing it. Probably more witty and fun than Jim and Spock were earlier.

"Yeah, unless you have something better to be doing. So...are you gonna play or not?" I ask, sounding unconcerned over which one he chooses, though in fact I desperately hope he accepts my invitation. I mean serious, what else could I be doing right now? The gym, rec room, and mess hall are all off limits until the warp core is repaired. Technically I'm not even supposed to leave my room until the ship is back to 100% better, but I've never been good at following that rule. I've even sat on the bridge for an entire day without either being noticed, or being noticed and them not caring.

"Very well. How long have you been aboard? You seem fairly comfortable here, for someone who's come from so very long ago." He points out.

"I was beamed aboard two and a half months ago. Star Fleet was naturally informed of my presence, but they had nothing else for me to do. So they decided I would stay aboard the Enterprise until a situation could be arranged for me. They figured Jim and the crew could watch me and make sure I'm being good while they figure something out." I explain. He nods after a while, I think to indicate that it's my turn. "So you're an Augment from the Eugenics War named Khan Noonien Singh, and a Star Fleet Commander named John Harrison all in one. How did that happen?" I figure I ought to get a nice long explanation from this one.

"What if I refused to answer your question?" He asks curiously, stepping closer to the glass separating us. For a moment I can imagine him breaking the glass and killing me before I can even reach for the button, and I think he probably could do that and more. But I shake my head to clear it of the image. He may be an Augment, but he wouldn't do that, would he? Not when he would be immediately surrounded by security officers from the alarm.

"Then I won't answer any of yours." I shrug. He almost looks like he's frowning, and I wonder if he just doesn't want to answer this question. Probably too personal. So I think quick and give him another. "Well, can you at least tell me why you bombed London and attacked Headquarters?" He looks a little relieved, but not much.

"It was an act of revenge against a man who has wronged me." He says, his voice pure ice.

"So it was personal."

"Very...personal." He hisses it, but it doesn't sound like he's really talking to me. It sounds like he's addressing the man who has wronged him. I lean back into the cushion of Grism's chair and this switches his attention back to me. "Who were you, back in 1991?"

"Like who was I as a person, or my family was, or what?" I ask, not really understanding what exactly he wants to know. It feels like a loaded question.

"Perhaps I mean all of those things. I wish to know what you left behind when you were beamed aboard the Enterprise from the past." He meanders to the bed of his cell and sits, back still as straight as when he was standing.

"That's a long answer to give." I admit with a bit of shyness leaking into me. His eyes dig into mine, demanding the answer no matter how long it takes. And frankly, no one else has asked me about that. When I first beamed aboard, everyone wanted to know how I did it. And then after that was done and figured out, they wanted to know what I would do now. No one asked what I left when I accidentally became a member of the crew. But, no one really asks anyone about anybody's back stories here, so it's not like they just don't want to know mine.

"Shall I ask another?" He offers, though he sounds less than thrilled. But as I did offer him a reprieve from his difficult question, he offers me one. But I shake my head.

"No, it's just...where to start? I was born in San Diego and grew up there until I was 10, when we moved to Arizona." I pause here for just a moment, but he immediately jumps in that pause.

"We?" He quirks an eyebrow.

"My family. My mom, dad, two older brothers Dayl and Leroy, and my older sister Carter. But later, Dayl was married to a girl named Anthea and Carter was married to a man named Evan, so they joined the family too. My sister had a baby only six months before I was beamed aboard, his name was Jace. So that's my family. Oh, and I had a cat named Psycho." He actually smiles at this, and I find I like that look a lot better than his smirks and grins and frowns.

"Why would you name a pet that?"

"Seemed like a good idea at the time. Plus he was very spazzy as a kitten. He was a little psycho, so I named him Psycho." He smiles again, but then his face returns neutral. "Anyway, we moved to Arizona and I attended school and...I dunno. I was a good student overall. Got good grades, didn't fight, didn't really have a rebellious phase like my siblings. I stayed off the radar because I didn't want any of the drama that I saw my siblings undergo as they went through high school." I see his eyes flick to my arms and legs for some reason before returning to my face.

"You have self inflicted scars on you arms and I suspect legs. No rebellious phase?" He notes. I look down at my milky white arms. I didn't think the scars were visible anymore. But now that I really look, I do see them. Pale and nearly nonexistent, but there beneath the violently bright lights of the brig. And with his super eyes, I guess I get that he saw them. Still, no one else has.

"Uh...okay a bit of a rebellious phase. But more of a way to handle the stress of my classes and the drama that my siblings went through." I say awkwardly.

"Did you have difficult classes?"

"Advanced classes. But there were others at my school who took much more advanced." I insist.

"So you hurt yourself to feel in control of at least some portion of your life. You couldn't control your family or the work load, so instead you controlled your body." He remarks, sounding a bit like my therapist. I'd do anything to distract him right now.

"Since my question has a long answer, I feel like I should get to ask you a question as a sort of intermission." I state. He smirks but nods. "The man you made blow up the archive...how did you convince him to do it?" He looks surprised that I would ask such a thing and is quiet for a long time. "Shall I ask another?" I mock. He scowls at me, but it's hardly a menacing scowl.

"I am simply surprised by your choice of question. No one seems to care about why he did it, only that he did it on my order. But, since you asked, I cured his daughter from a deadly disease." I wrinkle my eyebrows, silently communicating my question of 'How?' to him. "My blood has very special, advanced healing abilities. More advanced than the medicine of the future. It cured her." He says shortly.

"You gave her your blood? That's...kinda gross." I tell him, with a slight smirk.

"Hardly. Blood transfusions save lives daily, my blood just saves more extreme cases."

"Oh, so you actually transfused your blood to her, she didn't like drink it or something like that?" He looks at me like that's a ridiculous suggestion. But I can't help it if I have an overactive imagination. "How about I continue with my answer. I covered my family and my general upbringing. Uh, I'm twenty. I don't have a boyfriend "back home". I worked for two years as a nanny, living in England. I was back from my job for only a month before I got beamed up. I like reading, writing, painting, cooking. Should I keep going, or are you satisfied?"

"I think you have adequately answered my question. You are a free spirit girl who tries to remain above petty human behavior due to a childhood of learning from your siblings mistakes. You are smart, much smarter than you appear and let off. You know how to appear normal, so as to avoid conflict and engagement. And you fear relationships, or rather that they will end badly. I feel I know exactly who you are."

"Not bad for a 300 year old superman." He quirks an eyebrow, standing again and staring at me from just behind the glass.

"You are also beautiful, and no doubt there were many men who wished to court you. But they knew of your aversion to relationships and decided not to try, for fear of rejection." I can't help the tiny blush that sprinkles over my cheeks and down my neck at that. I've never considered myself pretty, preferring to play a tomboy, but my sister and friends made sure to frequently say I was lovely. Whenever they did I tired harder to appear unremarkable, so I would be sure to avoid a relationship built solely on someone's attraction to my looks. And it's almost frightening that Khan knows that.

When I was younger I was always crushing on boys and telling them about my silly crushes. But I was always rejected because I was too ordinary. That's why I tried to remain ordinary as I grew up. If I could find someone who looked at my ordinary appearance and still liked me for who I was, then I could truly feel like they loved me. But if even Khan, the terrorist who bombed London and the Augment from the Eugenics war, thought I was pretty, then who I was kidding? I glance at the monitor on Grism's desk, catching my reflection in the shiny black screen. And as much as I wish I could deny it, because that's all I've ever done, I guess I am pretty.

I've got golden brown hair and pale, Irish skin. My eyes are an alarming blue and I've got sort of one of those cute button noses. And overall I'm just about average in body height and weight. Always have been. Carter says I really grew into my looks once I hit puberty. And I suppose I did, but just always saw the awkward kid that every boy in California thought was average when I looked in the mirror.

"You hide your insecurity beneath layers of sarcasm and wit, and choose not to deal with them because you feel your rebellious siblings deserve your parents attentions. You don't have a boyfriend because of said insecurities and because you are under the idea that one day the perfect man will sweep in for you. But, there are no perfect humans."

"You're human." He looks absolutely horrified by the notion. "Altered and advanced, yes, but still a human. All the Augments were human." He makes some sort of low growl and the way he stares at me changes, and I feel like he's calling me forward. And more surprising than the odd stare, I actually get up and approach the glass. When I'm as close to it as he is, he raises his hand like he means to touch me through the glass, his palm resting near my head.

"I am not human. I am more." He hisses. "Why are you in here Lily? Really?" He demands.

"I was bored." I shrug.

"No, I think it's more than that. No one else will speak to me for longer than necessary, yet you seem to have come solely for conversation. Aren't you afraid of me, or upset with what I've done?" I step back a few steps, the venom in his tone demanding an answer.

"I am more scared of you than anyone else I've ever met. And I am upset that you've killed so many people. But I can see things in you that the others just aren't looking for. I can see that you're wounded, hurt by someone in Star Fleet. I can see that there is something you care about, deeply and profoundly. And that is what you were fighting for when you bombed that building and attacked Headquarters. And I think that makes you more human than you realize." I quickly walk back to my temporary desk and turn away from him, opening the monitor and pulling up some text to read while I wait for Grism to return. I think our game is over.

On the corner of the monitor I can see Khan's reflection. He's still standing there, watching me intently and looking like he could say a lot of things. But he says nothing. Eventually, about ten minutes later, he stalks to his bed and sits, as postured as ever. I try not to think about his eyes on my back as I read. Half an hour later, the door whoosh open and Jim and Spock come running in, straight to Khan's cell. Spock glances at me, but doesn't seem to care that I'm there instead of Grism and continues towards the cell.

"Why is there a man in that torpedo?" Jim demands, sounding angry and confused at once. Say what now? I slowly turn in my seat, so as not to attract attention from the Captain or First Officer. Khan notices, but hardly seems to care, returning his eyes immediately to Jim and Spock.

"There are men and women in all those torpedoes, Captain. I put them there." He says like it's the simplest thing in the world.

"Who the hell are you?" Jim demands. Oh right, they don't know he's Khan yet. I lean back, this outta be good. Wish I had popcorn.

"A remnant of the time long past. Genetically engineered to be superior so as to lead others to peace in a world at war. We were condemned as criminals; forced into exile. For centuries we slept, hoping when we awoke that things would be different." Okay that's not quite the way the histories tell it. In fact, I'm sure it was a lot more bloody and dangerous. Khan can see the look of annoyed disbelief on my face at the yarn he's spinning, but ignores it an continues. "But as a result of the destruction of Vulcan, your Star Fleet began to aggressively search distant quadrants of space; my ship was found adrift, I alone was revived." Okay that I do buy.

"I looked up John Harrison. Until a year ago, he didn't exist." Oh Jim. How naïve.

"John Harrison was a fiction created the moment I was awoken by your Admiral Marcus to help him advance his cause." Ah, so it was Marcus he was aiming to kill. Just the way he spits out the name indicated that much. At this point Khan is standing, and I've never been more intimidated. "A smokescreen to conceal my true identity. My name is _Khan_." I actually feel myself shudder at the way he says his name this time. So much more authoritative and and deadly than when he introduced himself to me.

"Why would a Star Fleet admiral ask a 300-year-old frozen man for help?" Jim really hates this guy, I can tell from the pure anger in his voice. I've never heard him speak like this in the almost three months I've been aboard.

"Because I am...better."

"At what?" Jim immediately asks.

"_Everything_." And so modest too. Behind me I can vaguely hear Grism coming back from his errands, but neither of us make a move to shoo me out. Instead he stands behind me, looking just as enraptured as I am with Khan and his tale. "Alexander Marcus needed to respond to an uncivilized threat in a civilized time, and for that, he needed a warrior's mind. _My mind._ To design weapons and warships." Come to think of it, I don't like this Marcus guy. He was really conceited when he talked to me via communicator after I first beamed aboard. I have no problem imagining him using Khan like that.

"You are suggesting the admiral violated every regulation he vowed to uphold simply because he wanted to exploit your intellect." Now Spock's being naïve!

"He wanted to exploit my savagery!" Khan immediately snaps. "Intellect alone is useless in a fight, Mr. Spock. You...you can't even break a rule, how would you be expected to break _bone_?" He does have a point... "Marcus used me to design weapons to help him realize his vision of a militarized Star Fleet. He sent you to use those weapons, to fire my torpedoes on an unsuspecting plant, and then he purposely crippled your ship in enemy space leading to one inevitable outcome. The Klingon's would come searching for whomever was responsible and you would have no chance at escape. Marcus would finally have the war he talked about, the war he always wanted." Yeah...I buy it. Still think maybe Khan isn't the victim though. Especially since I know what went down during the Eugenics War. Apparently Jim doesn't think him innocent either.

"No. No, I watched you open fire in a room full of unarmed Star Fleet officers. You _killed_ them in cold blood!" Khan turns his back on Jim angrily.

"Marcus took my crew from me." Way to play the blame game Khan.

"You are a murderer!" Jim shouts.

"He used my friends to control me! I tried to smuggle them to safety by concealing them in the very weapons I had designed, but I was discovered. I had no choice but to escape alone and when I did, I had every reason to suspect that Marcus had killed every single one of the people I hold most dear." His voice shudders a little at the end, and I could swear he might be crying. And frankly, I don't blame him. I was right. I was so right. He was fighting for his crew. "So I responded in kind." He slowly turns back to face us, a tear still trailing down his cheek and his eyes red. "My crew is my family, Kirk. Is there anything you would not do for your family?" I can honestly say I just want to give the guy a comforting hug right now. But I'm not even supposed to be in here. Suddenly the comm beeps.

"Proximity alert Sir. There's a ship at warp headed right for us." Sulu announces. Jim finally looks away from Khan and down at the floor.

"Klingon's?" He asks, my heart jumping to my throat at the thought.

"At warp? No Kirk, we both know who it is." Marcus. Oh shit. Kirk doesn't say anything, just starts running back towards the bridge, but throws over his shoulder,

"Lieutenant, move Khan to med bay, post six security officers on him!" I look at Grism, who's already in action, calling the officers to the room, then look at Khan. He's staring right at me.

"I believe I answered your question." He says quietly. I quickly disappear before the security detail gets there and questions my presence. No need to tell them I was getting chatty with the superhuman who killed thousands, if not millions of people in the past, and Captain Pike in the present. I barely even pay attention as I run to my room, locking the door and shutting off the comm when I get there. Whatever happens, I don't want to hear it. I want to lay on my bed and feel sorry for myself. Not only because of everything Khan said, but because bringing up my past has made me miss it. So, so badly.

For the last two and a half months, I haven't missed it at all. It was just like going on another adventure. Not seeing my family...I got used to that while I nannied in England. But the reality that I'll never see them again is sorta getting to me. And the being too insecure to be in a relationship, as spot on as it was, was kinda annoying to hear from him. I just wish he hadn't been so painfully accurate about me. And worse, I wish I hadn't been so accurate about him.

He's suffering so much, at the thought of loosing his crew...his family. He's so vulnerable, and that's never a good feeling. And to have that humanity, that itty bitty ounce of humanity exploited by the likes of Admiral Marcus? Not only is it disgusting, it makes me hate Marcus more than ever! It seems like Marcus is less human than Khan, and Khan is an Augment.

Somewhere amidst my pondering I feel the ship jump to warp and sit up. Where are we going? I decide to run to med bay to see what's going on. Bones will tell me, he also has a soft spot for me. When I walk in, Bones, Carol, and Khan all look at me. I avoid Khan's eyes though.

"Hey Lil." Bones says with a smile. "Well at least we're moving again." He says as he scans Khan.

"Where are we going?" I ask. He looks at me like I'm crazy. "I had my comm off, I missed the whole thing." I tell him with a frown.

"Well, we're high tailing it to Earth to put Khan on trial and report Marcus for sending us on a suicide mission to Kronos." He explains. Well, I guess Marcus really is the bad guy like Khan said.

"If you think you're safe at warp, you're wrong." Khan says mysteriously and looks at Carol. She seems to understand the mystic statement and starts running. I look between Bones and Khan with a quirked eyebrow. "His ship has modifications that will allow him to catch up to us and fire on us, while we are at warp. I suggest you hold onto something." Khan explains. Bones only scoffs, walking off to put his scanner away. I remain relatively near Khan, trapped in his gaze.

"I believe you about Marcus. But I know better than to believe that you're some peacekeeper from the Eugenics War. Augments killed millions of people." I whisper, though I'm sure we're not the only two listening to our conversation.

"I do not deny my involvement in the War, nor my role." He says, sounding without a conscience. "But I think for the moment Marcus is the bigger enemy."

"I know, I get it. He's corrupt and a dick and he deserves to be crushed like a bug. But eventually Marcus will be taken care of, and then the attention will be back on you." I remind him. A tiny smile quirks his lips.

"And will you condemn me like the others? When we know so much about each other? Dare I say it, I believe we were well on our way to becoming friends, Lily." His sarcasm is so cold, much colder than mine. I scowl at him and am about to turn and march away when an explosion rocks the ship violently and I nearly propel into him, his arms swiftly going over my head and looping around me to keep me pressed to his chest, him becoming my anchor as he has remarkable balance in the midst of the chaos.

The attack continues, the ship convulsing and throwing around like it's being literally beaten. The security detail and nurses all desperately try to keep level and hold on to something, but some are thrown forward or back against walls. Khan keep a tight hold on me until the ship settles at long last, something making the weapons of the other ship stop. But if it's a hailing from one ship to the other, this one isn't ship wide like I'm guessing the last one was.

It takes me a long time to calm down my raging heart and an even longer time to realize Khan still has hold of me. But the sound of six phasers charging up and being pointed at us lets me know. I look at the gathering of red shirts and at Khan, who slowly pulls his manacled arms up over my head and settles them back in his lap. I take three big steps away and the security men lower their phasers and go about righting the room, now that the terrorist doesn't have a hostage. I awkwardly tug on the bottom of my shirt until Khan's gaze catches mine and holds it.

"Uh...thanks. For...ya know." I gesture to his arms and he makes a infinitesimal smile and nods. I see Bones struggling to clean up a spilled drawer and rush over to help him, feeling so relieved to not be under the full force of Khan's gaze. Once everything is better, Bones sits down to do whatever it was he was doing before Khan came to med bay and we were attacked. And it seems to involve a dead fuzzy animal. Really fuzzy.

We all look up as Jim comes into the med bay, eyes immediately seeking out Khan, who's staring blankly at the wall across from him. Kirk stalks forward to be in his line of sight.

"Tell me everything you know about that ship." He commands.

"_Dreadnought_-class. Twice the size, three times the speed. Advanced weaponry. Unlike most Federation Vessels, it was built solely for combat." He says curtly.

"I will do everything I can to make you pay for what you did." Jim says fiercely. I study Khan's ever stoic face and hope that he won't say something stupid. But he says nothing, just lets Jim continue. "But right now, I need your help." He admits.

"And what do I receive in return?" It almost bothers me that he would ask that question. Like everything is a bargain or something.

"You said you'd do anything for your crew. I can guarantee their safety."

"Oh Captain. You can't even guarantee the safety of your own crew." Ouch. Jim glances towards Bones and me, needing a distraction from his obvious fail, and notices the fuzzy animal.

"Bones, what are you doing with that tribble?" He asks.

"Tribble's dead. I'm injecting Khan's platelets into the necrotic tissue. His blood cells regenerate like nothing I've ever seen and I wanna know why." Well I'm mighty curious myself. After all, he did say his blood saved a little girl in London. Admittedly he was only saving her to get to her dad, but still. Super blood.

"Are you coming with me or not?" Jim demands of Khan, who slowly nods. Jim pulls out his comm and walks into the hall while the security team unlocks Khan's manacles. Before they can lead him out he stops and looks at me, using that look that summons me forward once again.

"Admiral Marcus means to destroy the Enterprise. If I do not succeed in taking him down aboard the Vengeance, you could die here." He tells me, his voice as blank as ever. I notice that he called the other ship the Vengeance. Seems ironic, considering who designed it and all.

"Everybody dies." I shrug. "Eventually. I mean, I've done more with in the last two months of my life than I ever imagined I would in fifty years, so I guess I'm good." The strangest look crosses his face and he leans in close to me, all six of his officers flinching slightly in case he should try to hurt me.

"You are different Lily Watcher. And should I succeed, I will be back for you." He tells me before he allows himself to be marched out of the med bay and to wherever Jim is taking him to get over to the Vengeance. I stand rooted to the spot for longer than I probably should, a little shocked by his statement. Why would he want to come back for me? If he succeeds, which I kinda hope he does, cuz I don't wanna get blown up, I would think he'd be more concerned about his crew. What the hell does he want from me? I shake my head, glancing around at the people in the med bay. They really don't need me here right now, what with all the people injured from the brief firefight starting to come in. I decide I want to stay up to date on what happens over on the Vengeance, and run out of med bay to sneak onto the bridge.

"Lily you know you shouldn't be on the bridge right now." Nyota immediately whispers to me as I walk in and head to her station.

"I have to know what's happening Nyota. I can't just sit in my quarters and twiddle my thumbs." I insist. She just sighs and shrugs and goes back to her work. I get my first look of the USS Vengeance as I look to the right of the bridge. It's massive, in the same shape as the Enterprise, and a dark menacing metallic black color. I get a little shiver just looking at it. I'm studying it so intently that by the time I realize what the plan is, Spock is counting down from three to release Khan and Jim into space and across to the Vengeance. And in less time than it takes to blink, there's the sound of the door opening, the whoosh of air, and the door closing. They're out in the space now, somewhere I can't see from here.

But on a screen to my left there's a little diagram of the Enterprise, exactly across from the Vengeance, and two dotted lines connecting the two. There are two arrows showing the progress of the two men, and little squares with their information pointing to either arrow. I keep close watch on it, seeing Jim become dangerously off course as he veers out of the way of some debris, before starting to drift back. And watching as Khan's line remains relatively stable. At some point Kirk's helmet is hit, but doesn't break, thank god! And then, Khan's line vanishes.

"What happened?" I demand of Bones, who jumps upon discovering I'm next to him.

"Mr. Sulu did we loose Khan?" Spock demands.

"I don't know sir, it's hard to track him in all this debris." Sulu sighs, working furiously to regain the signal. I go back to watching Jim's line, praying in my head that Khan will show up again. I can't really understand why I want him to be okay so badly, I just hope he's not injured or dead. Without him, we don't stand a chance. And maybe it's also that I can't image him hurt without wanting to cry. But I'd never admit that.

"Shit, my display is dead." Jim curses over the comm.

"Captain without your display it is mathematically impossible to reach your target." Spock says a bit of emotion leaking through his usually perfect mask.

"Spock if I get back, we really need to talk about your bedside manner." Jim growls. I'm about to start worrying when suddenly there's a beep and Khan's line starts up again.

"My display is still functioning. I see you Kirk, you're two hundred meters to my right, my one o'clock. Come left a few degrees and follow me." He commands smoothly. Jim corrects, flying right next to Khan as they near the port of the Vengeance.

"Scotty we're getting close, you gotta give a warm welcome." Jim says over the comm. Wait, Scotty's on board the Vengeance? Maybe I need to be paying more attention... But he doesn't appear to be able to hear us, as he's not responding. And they're getting really close. Spock starts to countdown the amount of time before Khan and Jim will collide with the ship and I get more scared at each second he counts. Oh please, please open the door Scotty!

We all let out a collective sigh as the door opens just in the nick of time, admitting both Khan and Jim onto the Vengeance. I wrap my arms around Bones and shakily laugh, him returning the hug nervously. The comm is cut from the Enterprise to the Vengeance when they take their suits off, and all we can do is hope they make it to the bridge and stop Marcus.

"Commander Spock I have that hail you asked for." Nyota tells Spock, who looks a bit interested before composing himself.

"Onscreen." He says kindly before turning to the view screen. The screen has to come into focus for a moment but when it does it reveals an older Vulcan.

"Mr. Spock." The Vulcan greets kindly.

"Mr. Spock." Spock returns. Huh? I look to Bones for answers and he whispers,

"Later." Before turning his attention to the other Spock. From what I can assume, the older one is also Spock...maybe him from the future? I mean, time travel isn't new to me, considering that's the only reason I'm standing here. But still...wow.

"I will be brief." Younger Spock starts. "In your travels, did you ever encounter a man named Khan?" Recognition crosses Spock Prime's face, and not in a good way. I wince at the reaction we get from a mere name.

"As you know, I have made a vow never to give you information that could potentially alter your destiny. Your path is yours to walk, and your alone." Obvious disappointment crosses Younger Spock's face and I can see he's about to respectfully thank the elder for his time anyway, when Spock Prime starts up again. "That being said, Khan Noonien Singh is the most dangerous adversary the Enterprise ever faced. He is brilliant, ruthless, and he will not hesitate to kill every single one of you." Spock Prime says with a voice full of loathing. It's like this Khan situation drags the emotion right out into his voice. And I can feel my hear dropping as that loathing filled voice so coldly describes the man I'd been playfully exchanging my life story with just a few hours ago. How could I be so wrong about someone?

"Did you defeat him?" Younger Spock asks.

"At great cost, yes." Spock Prime admits, his voice getting even heavier, this time with sadness. I don't know if I can hear this.

"How?" Spock asks just as I leave. I'm aware of Nyota following me as I rush out, and feel her put her hand on my shoulder before I even make it down the hall.

"Lily what is it?" She asks, concern evident in her voice. I don't even realize that I'm holding back tears. But as soon as I realize my throat is choked up and I can't talk, the tears just feel so evident.

"I made a mistake Nyota! I confided in him, I let him confide in me...because I thought maybe somewhere in him was some smidgen of humanity! I've never been so wrong about some in all my life! How did I not see through him?!" She instantly understand who I'm talking about and gathers me in her arms.

"It's okay Lily, it's not your fault. None of this is your fault, it's Khan. He got to you, just like he could get to any of us." She coos. It takes me a good few minutes before I have myself under control and wipe my face. I can't cry for him. If this is who he really is, some murderous adversary who caused pain not only to my friends, but future versions of them as well, I refuse to cry because I can't even think of being with him. He's a criminal, just like Jim said. And for all I know he was playing me from the moment I walked in the brig.

"Come on, we better get back in there." She looks me in the eye, seeming to search for whether I'm really okay or not, before nodding and leading the way back. No one turns to us when we walk in. They all share looks of awe or horror or both, all are staring intently at Spock Prime. I barely catch on to what he's saying.

"-causing my death. I was resurrected through the use of the Genesis Planet, and am still living today. But the pain I suffered, and the pain of the entire crew of the Enterprise at the hands of Khan Noonien Singh should never be repeated." Wait, he died? Because of Khan? Holy shit!

"Thank you for you time and wisdom Mr. Spock." Younger Spock says, but he sounds just as shaken as the rest of us must feel. Spock Prime nods once and the video cuts off. Spock sits numbly for a moment before determination settles over him and gets up, walking to Nyota and gesturing for Bones to approach.

"Lieutenant can you assemble all senior Medical and Engineering crew members in the weapons bay." He instructs.

"Okay." Nyota nods, a little confused, before rushing off to do so. Spock immediately turns to Bones next.

"Doctor McCoy, you inadvertently activated a missile, could you repeat the process?" He demands.

"Now why the hell would I want to do that?" Bones looks aghast.

"Could you repeat the process?" Spock repeats.

"Dammit man, I'm a Doctor not a missile technician!" Bone objects angrily.

"The fact that you're a doctor is precisely why I need you to listen very carefully. I need to remove the cryogenic tubes from all 72 torpedoes. Once Admiral Marcus is out of the way, I am sure that Khan will betray us to regain his crew. He will demand them in exchange, most likely, for the Captain, Mr. Scott, and Carol Marcus. In this event I feel it would be logical to give him the missiles, and arm them so they detonate on his ship and stop him from attacking us. But I feel it would be unethical to detonate the missiles while there are people inside of them. Therefore, can you repeat the process?" He explains, his voice uncharacteristically short and snappy. Bones nods before rushing out to the weapons bay to help. Spock's eyes fall on me, and I give a nervous smile.

"Hey Spock." He motions for me to join him outside the bridge, calling back that Sulu has the Con. "I know I'm not supposed to be on the bridge, or the brig for that matter, and I'm sorry. I just couldn't stand sitting around while all this was going on!" I say quickly before he can start yelling at me. Surprisingly though he doesn't even frown.

"Miss Watcher, I reviewed the conversation between yourself and Khan in the brig, as well as the interaction you had with him in the medical bay. It is my belief that he will also ask you to join him on the Vengeance. Even if you say no, I believe he will still beam you over when we drop our shields. I do not wish to see you harmed by detonating the missiles, so I am at a crossroads. You can either hide in a part of the ship you believe he will not be able to find you in. Or, do you feel confident that you could convince him to not fire on our ship once you have beamed aboard the Vengeance?" Wow. I can honestly say I never ever expected to be asked to stop the impending battle between the two ships.

"If I can't, if I beam aboard and can't stop him...can you manually detonate the torpedoes from here? Say I beam over and he doesn't stop within half a minute, could you still remote detonate?" I ask, my voice cracking despite my best effort to remain neutral. He nods solemnly. "Then I will go." He gives me a look full of sorrow, and something like pity, or the Vulcan equivalent. Then he unexpectedly puts his hand on my shoulder. I remember reading that hands are a very personal, sensitive part of Vulcans and that this is somewhat of an honor.

"You will be saving this ship and all on it. And should we not be able to save you, we will come for you. No matter where he takes you, the Enterprise will follow and rescue you." He then takes his hand off my shoulder and gives me the Ta'al. We both solemnly walk back onto the bridge, Spock walking off to Sulu while I numbly stand next to the captains chair. I need for Khan to see me when he communicates with us. If he doesn't, and if he doesn't decide to beam me over, the whole plan will be bust.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear! The view screen comes to life and Khan appears, holding a bruised and bloodied Kirk in front of him, phaser held in a death shot position. Behind the both of them I see bodies littered about, and I hope they're not dead.

"I'm going to make this very simple for you." Khan begins, his voice a light drawl.

"Captain!" Spock exclaims upon seeing the condition of Jim.

"Your crew for my crew." Khan states quite solidly.

"You betrayed us." Spock state quite obviously, feigning dumb since he himself said that Khan would betray us.

"Oh, you are smart, Mr. Spock." Khan says in almost a taunt.

"Spock don't-" Jim gets cut off as Khan efficiently hits the phaser against the back of his head, making him drop. We all flinch forward a bit, wanting to catch out beloved captain. Khan's eyes flick to mine and he grins seeing my horrified face. I wonder if he thinks it's for him. That I'm horrified to see he's not who I thought he was, that there is no humanity there after all.

"Mr. Spock, give me my crew." Khan commands.

"What will you do when you them?"

"Continue the work we were doing before we were banished." He immediately replies.

"Which, as I understand it, involves the mass genocide of any species you find to be inferior." Spock almost snarls the statement. Obviously the Vulcans find the purpose of the Eugenics War quite illogical.

"Shall I destroy you, Mr. Spock? Or will you give me what I want?" His eyes flick to me again and I feel like I could be sick. How did I end up on his wish list anyway? Spock is quiet for a moment.

"We have no transporter capabilities." He informs Khan.

"Fortunately, mine are perfectly functional. Drop your shields." He narrows his eyes threateningly.

"If I do so, I have no guarantee you will not destroy the Enterprise."

"Well, let's play this out logically then, Mr. Spock." He sighs like he's talking to a child and it makes me blush red with indignation for Spock. "Firstly, I will kill your captain to demonstrate my resolve. Then, if yours holds, I will have no choice but to kill you and your entire crew." The V shaped smile he wears as he says it gives me goosebumps of fear at the creepiness of the whole situation. And hold on a sec, what does he mean he'll destroy us? What about his crew?

"If you destroy our ship, you will also destroy your own people." Spock points out my thoughts.

"Once your shields are down I will take what I want." His eyes flick to me again. "And your crew requires oxygen to survive, mine does not. Once I have the living crew member I require, I will target your life support systems, located behind the aft nacelle. And after every single person aboard your ship suffocates, I will walk over you cold corpses to recover my people. Now. Shall we begin?" I shudder to think he would do exactly as he says, exactly the way he says he will. Spock looks at me and I nod, though I'm shaking.

"Lower shields." Spock orders.

"A wise choice Mr. Spock." He gives a powerful kick to Jim, who's probably lying at his feet, before walking around the control booth and clicking a few things. The funniest feeling covers my entire body and the feeling of being beamed away, something I've only felt one other time in my life, fills me before everything goes white. When the white fades, I'm staring at Spock over the view screen aboard the Vengeance. I look around, catching sight of Scotty, Jim, and Carol, but most importantly Khan. He smirks at me before returning his attention to the view screen. I scramble to Jim, helping him turn over and brushing his blond hair off his forehead.

"What're you doing here Lily?" He asks, sounding alarmed.

"I'm doing my part." I whisper.

"I see all 72 torpedoes are still in their tubes. If they're not mine, Commander, I will know it." Khan says from behind us. And I hope to God he doesn't realize it's not really his crew until much much later.

"Vulcans do not lie. The torpedoes are yours." I guess it's good Spock's half-human then. He _can_ lie. And he _is_ lying.

"Thank you Mr. Spock." He sounds so relieved, my stomach clenched in on itself.

"I have fulfilled your terms. Now fulfill mine." Spock requests. "I demand Miss Watcher be returned with the Captain, Mr. Scott, and Dr. Marcus." Spock adds glowering at Khan. But it has no effect on the Augment. He gives me that look, the one I can't help but obey every singe time. I hug Jim as best I can before slowly approaching Khan. He smiles at me, but it's a predatory smile full of victory.

"No. Well Kirk, it seems apt to return you to your crew." I look over my shoulder as the white lights start to circle the three Enterprise members. "After all, no ship should go down without her captain." He snarls before cutting the link and starting to engage the weapons.

"NO!" I exclaim, grabbing a hold of his wrist before it can finish his action. "You have what you want! Please don't do this!" I demand. With a frighteningly easy flick of the wrist, he pushes me away and starts again with his actions. I search desperately until my eyes land on a phaser. Switching it to kill, I aim at him and his hand stops dead, but he doesn't look at me. "Don't." I repeat. He very slowly stands and turns to me.

"Have you ever taken a life Lily?" He asks, amusement lacing his tone. I shake my head slowly. "I didn't think so." He turns to fire on the Enterprise and I shoot at the chair console, the buttons all frying instantly, cutting off his easy access to the weapons. He actually looks startled for a moment before scowling at me.

"But I have taken shooting lessons since I was thirteen. And I have lived on board the USS Enterprise for two and a half months, becoming as close as family with the crew members. And just like you, I will do anything for my family. Even kill you, if you try to hurt them." I manage to keep the waver out of my voice as I say it, and stare him down. He even tries _the_ _look_, to get me to break. But this time I will myself to be stronger. I will myself to be strong for the Enterprise.

"Computer, set destination for the furthest inhabitable planet, warp four." He commands, the ship computer repeating the order before propelling us into warp. I have to catch my feet once we enter warp, my hand with the phaser dropping from Khan to the ground. And the second it takes me to stabilize is the second he takes to reach me and wrap his hands around my wrists. His left hand squeezes painfully, making me drop the phaser, which clatters on the ground. I feel the control consul digging into my back as he pushes me back against it, towering intimidatingly over me. My heart jumps into my throat and I feel like I can't breathe for a moment. I think he can tell, because it seems like he always can.

He doesn't move for what feels like forever, and therefore, I don't move for what feels like forever. Then he released my left hand and tantalizingly slowly raises his hand to my cheek, his skin smooth against mine as his fingers drift over my cheekbone.

"You continue to surprise me Lily. But perhaps you should know what happens to those who defy and injure me." His hand drift down my cheek and neck before circling around to the back of my neck and holding me by the back of my collar. He tows me along, stumbling, beside him before shoving me down in front of a body. Previously I thought all the bodies on the bridge were just stunned, but this one...there's no way. It's Admiral Marcus, but his skull has been crushed! Bones stick out from his skin and brain matter and blood have seeped from split skin and fractured bone onto the floor, his face all bruised and crumpled and barely even human looking. I can't quite catch myself in time to hold in my vomit, my lunch from today retching up and accidentally landing on the corpse of Admiral Marcus. Khan seems oddly satisfied that I puked on the guy because he smiles and runs his fingers through my hair.

"How could you do this?" I whisper, still feeling sick. I try not to look again at the dead man, but I'm still faced towards him.

"You know who I am. You've known from your first question." He reminds me. I gag as I accidentally get a sight of the broken head again and close my eyes. His hand stops moving in my hair and he makes a fist, clenching my hair in his hand and yanking back so I look up at him, my eyes flying open again. "And now you know what I can do. If you defy me, or try to shoot me, again...I fear I do not take kindly to being shot and threatened." His eyes trail down to his handy work, but I refuse to look.

"So why _are_ you keeping me alive?" It's the question I've wanted answered since Spock told me Khan would beam me over. Why me? Why would he choose me of all people? Our question game couldn't have been _that_ interesting! He grins, and it's somewhat terrifying. Scratch the somewhat, it's bone chillingly terrifying.

"I am keeping you alive, because you are intelligent, observant, interesting, beautiful...and because when you looked at me you immediately saw past what you heard about me, in favor of deciding for yourself who I was. I can see it even now in your eyes. After all that's happened, there's still that little glimmer of hope for me. That hope that you weren't completely wrong. That maybe deep down, I do have a bit of humanity." He chuckles at the thought.

"I don't know what I was thinking. You're not human. I see that now, all too clear." I whisper. His grin doesn't drop though, and obviously he doesn't believe my harsh words. I don't think I believe them either.

"You say that, and you keep saying that. Until you believe it. But I can see it in your eyes, that I'm partially human. And I can't wait to destroy that belief." He releases his hold on me, smooths my hair, and walks away to give instruction to the computer. I bite my lip and look down at what's left of Admiral Marcus again, burning the image into my mind. It takes me a while before I can look at him without my stomach roiling in protest, but eventually I just stare at him almost emotionless. I need to do this. I need to commit this sight to memory for the rest of my, however long it may be, life. I need to know that Khan did this. That he can do this again and again, killing anything and everything he deems non-superior.

But despite all my effort to believe Khan is no more than a killer, that tiny thought tugs at the back of my mind. That little, stupid belief that there is a real man inside him. It's a belief he instilled in me throughout a simple and foolish game exchanging answers to questions. I know I saw humanity in him, I know it. And as much as Spock, Kirk, Khan, or even I try to tell myself otherwise...I can feel it. I just know that he's not 100% evil. And I'm either going to prove it, or die trying. I know I will.

OOOOO

_So what do you think? Should I make a second one? Leave me a comment to let me know!_


	2. Chapter 2

_AN: Hey guys, I'm super sorry about how long it's taken me to update, and for how much shorter this chapter is compared to the first. But the first was kinda an accident and I totally didn't realize how long it was until I finished writing it. Anyway, here's this for you and I hope you like it, feel free to leave a comment, in fact I live off of them so...yeah. Oh, and it's jumps around a little with time periods, but hopefully it's not too confusing. And Lily says a bad word in this chapter, just be prepared. _

~1991~

"Lily come help with the groceries!" I can just barely hear my sisters voice carry through the walls from the front room. Because heaven forbid she should actually walk into my room to ask for my help. With a mutter I bookmark my page and put down my book. I walk around my little pile of boxes in the center of my room, that I still have to unpack from England, and open my door. Immediately my cat zooms in and dives for the safety of beneath my bed. He always does that when Carter appears, yelling and just being loud in general.

"You don't get to stay under there Psycho." I tell him, and he meows in return. He doesn't understand what I'm saying, but he can hear the tone of my voice, one he's heard a lot. But I let him have a moment to cower from the mighty beast, closing my door partially and flipping on the hall light. Carter isn't inside anymore, the door left open so she can go back outside and bring in groceries. Jace is still in his car seat, but looks pretty content with himself as I pass him. He squeals in a high pitched velociraptor impersonation as I pass, and I smile.

"There's not much left." Carter tells me, reappearing just as I reach the door.

"Where's mum?" I ask.

"Downstairs with dad." She shrugs, worming past me to put the bags down in the kitchen. I pull on my old brown tennis shoes real quick before stumbling down the stairs. Our apartment is an upstairs one, something I've grown unaccustomed to over the last two years in England. But I'll manage. I got used to the stairs before I left, and I'll get used to them again now. My mum is talking in a low voice to my dad, who's just returned from work from the look of it. They don't even look up as I pass his work car to get groceries from my mum's car.

A few groceries turns out to be one bag too many. But I manage to collect all of them and decide I'll just come back down to close up the car once I've dumped these. This time when I pass mum and dad, I get a smile from mum and a head tilt of acknowledgment from dad. I'll try to make small talk when I come back to close the trunk and doors. It takes longer than I'm proud to admit to get up the stairs, with all my bags, and Carter smirks when she sees me panting in the doorway.

"There's not much left?" I hiss, and her smirk gets wider. Sometimes I want to just slap the cruel smile off her face. But I'd never get away with that. I never get away with anything. But, I've kinda accepted that.

"But you got all of them!" She's trying to sound congratulatory, but it's just too snarky to really work. I glare at her, dropping all the stuff on the ground for her to put away, while I go lock the car. "Where are you going?" She asks suspiciously.

"Closing the car, nosy." I stop in the doorway, catching sight of dad getting back in his car to drive away. Neither he nor mum look pleased, and it makes me frown in concern. They like to think I haven't heard them fighting in their room. But ever since I got home, I can hear them going at it every night. The walls aren't that thick. But why are they fighting? They never used to fight, before I left for England. "What's up with mum and dad? I mean, where's he going?" Carter doesn't even look at me from where she's stocking pasta in the pantry.

"Probably picking up Leroy or something. Nosy." She can't hide the look of victory as I roll my eyes and head back outside.

"Thanks for helping Lily." Mum says as I reach the bottom of the stairs.

"No problem." It's a natural response, one I don't even think of as I say it. It's just...what I always say. She nods and starts up the stairs as I close the trunk. I close the back car door and listen for the automatic lock of the doors, smiling when I hear the mechanic click. I'm walking back to the stairs when I hear it, a sound like an air craft breaking the sound barrier, from directly over me. Instantly I look up, not seeing an air craft, but something completely different. It's like a black hole has opened up right over me, as crazy as that sounds. And from the black hole, white lights drift lazily down until they hit the atmosphere and then they quickly zoom down to surround me.

"Lily?" I look at mum, who's panicked face has appeared at the top of the stairs, obviously she heard the sound too. My eyes drop back to my hands and I raise them curiously. The white lights are circling my arms, my hands, my legs. My whole body is just circled by weird little white lights that make my skin tingle.

"Mum?" I yell over the rushing in my ears. What the hell is this? I may just be going crazy, but mum can see them too! I know she can, if the alarm on her face is anything to go by. The tingling gets worse, like the feeling you get in a limb that's fallen asleep. It gets almost painful, and very quickly. So quickly that by the time mum's gotten to the bottom of the stairs, it's almost unbearable. And then the whiteness starts. At the edge of my vision, then creeping up to completely blind me. The last thing I see before everything is completely white is my mum trying to reach out to me. I swear I can feel her hand move through me as the whiteness and tingling and pain overwhelms me.

Then the feeling of fading comes. The feeling that I'm being taken apart inch by inch and pulled up into the black hole, every particle of matter that's being undone in my body clinging to the white lights that are pulling me apart. I'm pulled up, up, up, and then through. It's like the most intense roller coaster I've ever been on, that feeling that you get in the pit of your stomach overcoming every bit of me. That constant feeling of falling that unnerves people on big rides. But this is so much worse somehow. So much better.

All at once the feeling changes. And instead of being pulled and dragged, I'm being pieced back together and set on solid ground. I'm arranged back to the form I had before, every minute particle realigning properly to make me one piece again. And the whiteness fades, leaving me at first with just shapes. But then the shapes take colors, and lines become sharper. The white lights are gone, leaving me in exactly the same shape as they found me, but in a completely different place. A place immaculately clean and bright, and just...not real somehow. It seems futuristic and shiny, and completely worthy of the headache and aching body I know how. Whatever just happened, it's taken me far away from home.

~2259.59~

I'm not sure if I should close his eyes or not. Don't people usually close dead people's eyes? But, to be fair, I'm not even sure if he has eyes anymore. I mean, I see them but they look like popped egg yolks. Still, he has eyelids. Albeit, popped eye yolk is dripping from the eyelids...but they're there. It's pretty gross, and the more I consider it, the more I feel like I might throw up again. There's nothing to throw up anymore, not after the ten times I've retched thus far, but it's the action that counts I guess.

I haven't been able to move for hours now. It _must_ have been hours ago that Khan left. It feels like it's been days, years, left all alone with a bridge full of unconscious Vengeance personnel and a man with a crushed skull. I almost wonder if Khan is going to come back. And then I realize, I really don't want him to. He's probably found out about Spock's trick by now, and is probably really pissed. He's already told me what he'll do if I threaten him or try to shoot him again. I can't imagine what the punishment for knowingly tricking him out of getting his crew back would be. Maybe worse that popped eyes dripping from sunken eyelids.

I feel like I should close the eyelids. It seems like the respectful thing to do. I mean, as respectful as I really can be after puking on the guy. But I really can't summon the strength to reach forward and lower them. I can't move at all, come to think of it. My legs are crushed against my chest, my arms wrapped around them, as they've been for who knows how many hours. And my eyes are set firmly on the broken head of Ex-Admiral Alexander Marcus. God, Khan did this in front of Carol! He crushed this guy's skull in front of his own daughter!

I hear the door slide open behind me and I would tense up if every muscle in my body weren't already tensed in fear. Just being on the same damn ship as this psychopath is enough to make me a rock of anxiety. And now he's in the same room as me again. Probably mad as hell over the whole missile thing. Heavy, firm footsteps cross the the bridge and stand right behind me, causing the hairs on the back of my head to stand on alert. I'm sure he can sense every little flinch I make away from him. I bet he can smell my fear like an animal. There's a faint sound of rustling as he kneels behind me, then he puts a hand on my shoulder and I swear my heart jumps out of my throat and onto the floor in pure fear.

"Did you know?" His voice sounds heavy, like he's angry, but trying to contain it. I know what he's talking about, but I'm too afraid to answer. His hand squeezes tightly and I manage a nod, if for the sake of saving my shoulder from a fracture. His grip loosens a bit, so the impending crack of bones is thwarted, but he says nothing. I feel like I have to speak now, because his quiet is just too dangerous of a sound.

"Spock knew you'd betray us. He had to have a backup plan, in case I couldn't convince you to leave in peace. He would have detonated them if you had started firing. But he didn't want to do it if your crew was still inside of them. So he took them out." I manage to keep the shaking out of my voice. For a moment I remember who I was back in 1991. I would never sound like this, so weak and scared. Never in a thousand years. I could stand up to Darth Vader and not waver. But Khan can crush people's skulls in his hands and killed millions in a war I missed by that much. I think even Darth Vader would quiver in his presence. "Are you going to kill me?" I ask, when I realize he's probably more pissed now than before.

"No." He states rather resolutely. I will myself to tear my eyes away from the remains of Marcus and look at him over my shoulder. His eyes are dark, darker than I've ever seen them. Anger rages in the blue depths and hate for Spock, and probably me as well, burns me with his very gaze. He came so close to getting his crew back. The people he was fighting for all along. Within his grasp. And now we're who knows how far away from them and they'll probably be under lock and key in a room at Star Fleet headquarters within the next few hours. But, there's something else in his overpowering stare that even I can't understand. An emotion deeper and darker than the fury, one I can't name.

"Are you going to kill them?" I don't take my eyes off his, but I think he understands who I mean by them. The unconscious men surrounding us all over the bridge. After all, what use could they really serve to him now?

"No. Because I have lost my crew...again...I will need to make a new one. At least for the purposes of reclaiming my previous crew." He tells me, his voice flat, but his eyes still dancing with fierce emotions. His hand moves very slowly, off my shoulder and cups my upper arm.

"What do you mean? Make a new one?"

"The process of genetically engineering an Augment is simple enough, at least it is to someone of my intellect. These...bodies will make _adequate_ Augments. At least good enough to provide a distraction for Star Fleet while I retake my family." He fades off here, finally moving his paralyzing eyes from me to the bodies littered about. He makes a face of disappointment at the condition of his future crew, but seems to push through it. "As for you, I have greater plans." He states, turning his eyes back to me. I feel like every cell of my blood has frozen in my veins and that my brain has just turned to mush.

"Painful plans?" I whimper, actually whimper! His trademark smirk pulls at his lips briefly before disappearing. Ignoring my question, he steels his grip on my arm and pulls me up, my limbs sore from disuse and screaming in protest. He hardly notices as he drags me along, off the bridge and out into the hallways. His pace is quick, well quick compared to my zombie like stumbling, as he transverses the halls. He designed this ship, so I'm not surprised he knows exactly where to go. Still, it's a bit alarming the familiarity he has with the layout. Like he memorized every passage and room. And this place is huge! My brain would explode before I could know my way around as precisely as he does.

Eventually he stops at a door, typing in a code too fast for me to catch it. When the door slides open he spares me no time to look around, simply pulls me through and deposits me on the nearest chair. He doesn't explain, doesn't say anything, just gives me a look that suggests I better stay put, then turns and stalks out. I wonder if he's going to start working on his new crew, while I just sit here. But really, what else can I be doing?

~1988~

"It's a brilliant opportunity mom! You know how much I want to travel, and this way I can save money for school, while I simultaneously gain knowledge about different cultures!" Mom gives me a bit of a stink eye as she pointedly refuses to show emotion. God, she seems like a robot sometimes! Like some sort of alien that has no emotions!

"I think it's a bad idea. You should stay here, get a job here, and go to school here." She states. I can't help but roll my eyes at her stubbornness.

"I'm freaking 18, I can make my own decisions! I'm going to England! Besides, there's nothing for me here! Just the same old people doing the same old things and never changing!" I storm out, slamming her door as I go, and stalk right past my room to the front room. Dayl and Anthea are over, but they quickly avert their eyes from me, probably hearing every word that was said. I feel my blood boiling as I pull on shoes and grab my car keys.

"Where are you going?" Only Carter would be able to see my despicable mood and still ask me questions that could potentially set me off.

"Out." I hiss, grabbing my wallet and phone from where I left them on the bar, and slamming the front door too. Muttering strings of curses I slink down the stairs and to my car, ignoring how crappy it is for today. As long as it gets me away from here and to somewhere I actually like, it's a wonderful creation. My phone rings, and I glance at it to see Carter's contact picture. I pointedly ignore it, driving away from the apartments, towards the library. The library always helps.

It's not that busy today, since it's midday and midweek, and school has started for most everyone. But the school I want to go to is really expensive, thus why I'm not going this year. And why I want to go to England and work, so I can save money and go to my dream school. But apparently that's never gonna happen, if my mom has anything to say about it. God, I just don't understand why she's pitching such a fit over this! I would think she'd be happy for me! She got to go to Australia and Portugal when she was my age, why the hell can't I go to England?!

My phone rings again, this one from Dayl, so I turn it off all together. I really don't want to talk to anyone in my family right now. They've never been concerned about me before, why the hell should they be concerned now? They have themselves to worry about, after all. That's all they ever worry about. Themselves. I glance down at my arms as I think bitterly about them. Covered with sleeves to hide something I do pretty regularly, but that they have no idea about. And they never will. Because I don't matter. Especially not when they have themselves to worry about.

I decide to wander through Science Fiction for a little while. I grew up watching Stargate and the like, and robots and aliens are familiar to me. Familiar and comforting. I remember spending days watching X-Files with my dad while mom and Carter went shopping. I was never a girly girl who could shop all day, like them. I preferred wrestling with my brothers and watching National Geographic specials about all the poisonous reptiles in Brazil.

"If you like those books, you should try this series." I jump a little and look towards the voice that's interrupted my internal flashbacks. It's a guy, a bit older than me, with brown feathery hair and green eyes like moss. He smiles at my startles expression and I quickly cover it with an uneasy smile. "I'm Tyler." He holds out his hand and I hesitantly shake it.

"I'm Lily." I tell him with a bit of a braver smile. "Thanks, for the book recommend. I've already read those though." I explain with a shrug.

"You have good taste. Who's your favorite?"

"Uh, probably this guy." I pull out a book that I've read ten times, but still return to every now and again just for kicks. It's really well written, about a sort of apocalyptic future ruled by machines. But I have a copy at home so I don't really check it out from the library. He takes the copy and reads the description on the back with a quirked eyebrow.

"Sounds cool. I'll have to check it out, unless you want it." He offers it back, but I shake my head.

"No, you should take it. I have it at home anyways. I was thinking about trying this one." I hold up the book I have in my hands, something about a kid who can connect with machines or something like that. "Do you read a lot of Sci-Fi?"

"Oh, too much of it, probably. But I think it'll come in handy when the future gets here and everyone else is stuck in the past." He smiles with a wink. "Like, I've heard there are scientist trying to genetically engineer people! That's some futuristic shit! And some people are making a fuss over it, but come on. The future's gonna happen whether they like it or not."

"I couldn't agree more. But some people are pretty stuck in their ways." I can think of a few that live in my own house! He smiles gently and bites his lip. It's about to get awkward, and I'm about to say something, when he chuckles.

"Hey, I don't suppose you wanna maybe have coffee?" He peeks at me from under his eyelashes and I'm a bit stunned for a moment. He's asking me out to get coffee? Even after he's seen my nerdiness? Weird, this has never happened. Usually if a guy asks me out, they stare at my chest or their shoes. This guy is actually holding my gaze, with a sweet smile, and he likes Sci-Fi! Plus he's super cute! Oh my god, what a catch!

"Sure. That would be nice."

~2259.60~

There's no clock in my little room, but I just feel like it has to have been at least twelve hours since the Vengeance showed up. It seems like time is passing very slowly. Maybe I'll ask Khan what time it is when I see him again. Then again, I probably won't. I have no idea if anything I say will set him off and make him change his mind. I don't know which buttons an innocent enough question might push, and that's a very dangerous thing to not know.

When I can't stand just sitting around anymore, I shakily get up and test my luck with the door. I need a code to open it, even from the inside. Apparently it's the captain's cabin, the second most guarded room, the first being the brig. No escape. With a huff I meander to a window, adjusting the dark tint of the glass so I can look through at the passing space. We're still at warp, but I've always liked how warp looks. It's remarkably like you'd expect it to be. Streaks of light flying by as we go faster than the humans of my time ever thought possible.

A hand grips my shoulder firmly, and I feel my heart exploding in surprise, an embarrassing shriek escaping my lips. Khan's dark chuckle does nothing to help my mini heart attack I just had, if anything it exacerbates it. My hands are gripping the window sill so tight, my fingers might as well dent the metal, or shatter trying.

"Are you sure you're not trying to kill me?" I growl, glaring at the passing space. His other hand settles over mine, making my hand seem so small in comparison. He slowly moves his hand up my arm, his fingers gliding over my skin and every now and then pausing to trace a ghost of a scar. I break out in goosebumps that just get worse as his hand travels over my shoulder, across my neck, and to my left cheek so he can turn my face towards his. His eyes are sparkling in what I assume to either be victory or anger, I can't be sure. But since he's got a deadly smirk, I'd say victory.

"We have a game to play Lily." He tells me, his voice a low, predatory drawl.

"A game?" I can't help how weak my voice sounds. The last game we played resulted in me being the focus of his attention and ending up on the USS Vengeance, millions of miles away from the crew I consider my family. But I feel like this game might result in something much worse, if his devastating grin is anything to go by. He drops his hand to my wrist and pulls me away from the window, pushing me, not to lightly, back into the chair he left me in. He takes the one across from mine and smiles ever so politely.

"We're providing answers for each other, but this time, you won't be asking any questions." He states quite happily.

"Isn't that a bit one sided?" I frown.

"Not at all. You give me answers to my questions...and I will give you answers about your family." Instantly I recoil, the thought of him knowing things about my family is just terrifying. But...how the hell could he know anything about my family that I didn't tell him? Clearly my confusion and shock is written all over my face, because he takes the liberty to go on. "All those months aboard a ship with nearly limitless information to be accessed, and the thought never occurred to you to seek out answers about the people you love."

"I never thought...I mean..." What can I really say? With all that "limitless information" at my disposal, I occupied myself by learning everything I could about history and science and advancements and alien species. But it never even crossed my mind that I could research my family, and discover how their lives played out without me there.

"I imagine in your mind you liked to think that they were frozen in place when you left. That they are still there waiting for you to come back, hundreds of years in the past. But the fact is, they lived and died and centuries passed. And then you were alive again, somewhere in the future where your family is gone. But their records are still very alive."

"Then I can access them through the computer, I don't have to play this game with you at all!" I point out. He smiles almost sympathetically, like he's dealing with a child. And maybe I am a child compared to him.

"You won't find anything. I'm afraid all records of your family are buried deep in the most restricted sections of the archives, sections that need Admiral Codes to access." He doesn't sound even a bit sorry for me.

"And I'm guessing, from your smirk, you've managed to gain access, most likely with Admiral Marcus' codes, and are going to hold all the information for ransom." I scowl at him and slump back in my seat, propping up my feet on the table that separates us. He nods, that smug smile still firmly in place. I have a small mental debate with myself before groaning and nodding. "Fine, I'll play."

"I thought you would. I'll start." It sounds like an order. "Who was Tyler Fuller?" I can't help the little twist of my stomach at the name. Tyler.

"How do you know about him? He wasn't my family." I keep my voice as monotone as possible, staring holes into his head.

"But he was in their history. Answer the question Lily." He demands. I consider not answering him. I mean, Spock promised me he'd come for me. And I believe he will. And when he does, after I'm rescued and Khan's dealt with, I can just beg for my families records. I don't technically need to play. But I don't even want to think about what lengths Khan might go to in order to make me answer his questions. He's obviously used to getting what he wants.

"He was my boyfriend. We broke up when I left to England, but we remained friends until the day I was beamed to the future." I admit, my voice dry and neutral. But I'm sure he can see past my cold exterior and into my heart where I'm missing Tyler fiercely.

"It's interesting. For how desperately you avoided relationships and their ends, you still allowed yourself to form them. What was so special about this boy that made you let him in?" He sounds so interested, and that's the most confusing part of this whole thing. Why is he interested in me? A lowly mortal human girl, from the past no less. Why am I the one he chose to investigate further?

"He was different. We could talk for hours about things that we both found interesting. He looked me in the eye instead of staring at my boobs. And he wouldn't leave me alone. He kept calling me and asking me out more and more, he wasn't put off by my temper or dry sense of humor or my family. He didn't care about any of my shortcomings. He cared about me. And I really needed that." I manage to keep myself as unemotional as possible. I remember reading about Vulcans and how insensitivity to emotions can come in handy. Especially right now. Khan watches me for a long, uncomfortable moment during which I stare right back at him. Then he slowly smiles and nods.

"Shall I tell you what became of him? Of the boy who was different?" I'm sure he can tell how anxious I am to know what he knows, but he only shrugs. "Maybe later. I think I'll start by telling you about your oldest brother. Daylan Watcher, called Dayl by his siblings. He was a brilliant man. Could have been a doctor or a psychologist. But after the disappearance of his youngest sister, through apparently alien means, he turned to science." I unconsciously lean forward, chewing on my lips nervously as he speaks. "In 1993 he was contacted by a few other scientist who needed his help creating something that was deemed impossible by most. The creation of a human Augment."

"You can't mean...Dayl...he helped start the Eugenics War?" My voice cracks in revulsion.

"It wasn't really his fault. He was assured that no one would be harmed, and that these Augments would be the first step on a road to the future. A future that could answer the question of what happened to his sister. Unfortunately things didn't go so smoothly, and he and his wife were killed by one of the Augments in 1994." I can feel my chest tightening at the information, and I have to fight hard with myself to keep the tears at bay. I won't cry in front of Khan, even for my brother. But...he was killed! Him and Anthea! Killed because he was looking for answers about what happened to me!

"How did they die?" I whisper. He considers me a moment, his face no longer snarky and cruel. He actually appears to be somewhat sorry for me.

"Augments are very effective. It would have been quick, a snapped neck or blow to the head." He sounds like a business man, discussing the assets of a product.

"Would they have been in much pain?"

"I do not believe so." At least there's that. "Do you need a moment?" I can't be sure if he's being malicious or not by asking. Honestly, I'd like a lot longer than a moment to recover from this news, but I need to hear more. I need to know what happened to the rest of my family.

"No, ask your next question." He watches me for a moment before nodding.

"Did you love your family?"

"Of course I did!" I nearly growl, but I'm still not over Dayl, so it's kinda half-assed.

"Naturally you would respond that you loved them, but I'm not asking if you loved them because they were your blood and you were obligated. I'm asking if you loved them because of who they were." He explains, kind of snappily.

"Well...I mean, siblings fight and all. It doesn't mean I hated them or something!"

"You are avoiding the question, Lily. Did you approve of your family as the people that they were?" He stands, towering over me and making me sink back into my chair.

"No!" I admit quietly. But it's enough for him, and he sits down. "No. Dayl was a control freak and a hypocrite who wanted everything and everyone to be what was convenient for him. Leroy drank all the time, and was mean to Carter and Jace, he hated them! He renounced our sister as his sister. And Carter...she got angry so quickly! The moment you said something, anything, to upset her, she would snap all over you! And she was such a hypocrite, lazy, controlling, leeching, angry person!" It all comes rushing out like a dam bursting, and frankly, it feels so good! To just talk and express what I've wanted to say for years!

"And your parents?"

"My parents. My mom was stubborn and irrational and a bit racist. And my dad detested shows of affection and would go into rages quicker than Carter could. So yes, I didn't like my family. But that doesn't mean I didn't love them. They all had redeeming qualities that made it easier as I got older to love them even more." His smirk is returning, and I really hate that smirk.

"Interesting. Perhaps you'd like to know what happened to your parents. I'll even tell you both of their fates." I can't help but perk up, curious and concerned about what happened to my mom and dad. "The official records didn't hold much by way of their lives. There was a divorce filed in 1990, which was voided in 1992, shortly after your...disappearance. According to Daylan's personal journals, they had been fighting for some time, but they made up to keep the family together in their time of trouble. Loosing their daughter made them realize they didn't want to loose each other." He tells it like a story almost. And here I am, soaking it all up.

"Well...at least I did one good thing." He smiles, and I think it might be genuine. "But what happened to them? How did they...you know..." I fade off, finding it bizarrely hard to say they died. He seems to understand for some reason.

"They too were killed by an Augment, in the same month and year as Daylan and Anthea." My eyes go blurry for a moment, tears begging to be shed, but I blink them back and close my eyes for a moment. This...sucks. So bad. I can't help but wonder if the Augment who killed Dayl and Anthea was the same one who killed mom and dad. "They were buried together. They were generally described as a content couple, both trying to accept the loss of their daughter and trying to keep the rest of their family close." That actually does make me feel a little better. But not even nearly enough.

"Next question." I mutter between my teeth. I want to get this over with. I want to find out about my family and then cry for...oh, a few years maybe. He's silent so I open my eyes to glare at him, demanding his question.

"Very well. You said before that the self injury helped you cope with the drama of your siblings and stressful classes. But why did you start? What was the trigger?" His eyes are glued to my arms now, assessing every scar, every indent left on my skin. It's a little awkward, and I almost feel exposed, but I don't move to cover my arms. At least he can't see my legs.

"It was ninth grade. My mom and my sister were arguing. It wasn't even about me, but I had a habit of blaming myself for every fight that happened at home. I locked myself in the bathroom and found myself staring at a razor. I had older friends who I knew had cut themselves, and all three of my siblings had a history. It just...made sense. I told myself that I wasn't going to do it again, but then a week later, my dad was yelling at me a lot, enough to make me cry. He was having a bad day and I was being a brat, so he really blew up. And I used scissors. From there it just steamrolled until I was cutting every day."

"What stopped it?" Khan demands the moment he senses that I'm done speaking.

"Tell me about my family first." He gives me one of the most annoyed looks I've ever seen, and growls when he senses my determination.

"Your sister, Carter, and her son lived long lives hidden far away from the Eugenics war, and all the world. There are no records of either after 1996." Well at least some of them didn't die horrible deaths. "Her husband, however met the same fate as your brother and parents." Death by Augment. I'm beginning to think my family did something really bad to piss off such an Augment. If he went as far as murdering even my brother-in-law!

"And Leroy? Was he murdered by an Augment too?" I find myself glowering at the table between us, wanting to kick and hit it until it breaks, or I do.

"It's my turn Lily." And that's the straw that breaks the camels back.

"This isn't a fucking game Khan!" I exclaim, suddenly finding myself standing and glaring down at him for a change. He makes no move to rise or challenge me, just stares at me with that ever analyzing gaze. "This is my family! And what happened to them after I got beamed to the future! They were not, and are not, leverage to get me to answer your questions!" I snarl, quite sure my face is red with a mixture of anger and fear. I'm stepping way over the line right now, but I could care less. Finally he very slowly stands, as intimidating as ever.

"Leroy drank himself to death, unable to cope with your disappearance. His death, and the pathetic way in which he brought his own death about, triggered a fierce dark anger in the Augment who killed Daylan, Anthea, Evan, and your parents. He saw the way Leroy wasted away as proof that your family had given up on you. He was angry with them for loosing hope of ever getting you back, so he killed them." I feel all my anger instantly drain away, to be replaced with a horrible gut wrenching despair and an even more horrible curiosity.

"Who was the Augment? Please, Khan, I'll tell you anything you want to know about me, just tell me who killed most of my family." His face remains as impassive as ever, but his eyes seem to spark just a little. The promise of information seems to appeal to him, but I also sense hesitancy in the shocking blue depths. A need to protect me from the knowledge of who killed them. For whatever reason, he wants to protect me. "Please." But I don't want him to.

"The Augment was the first to be made by your brother. He volunteered, led by the promise of being able to see you again. He was a success, but his emotions were severely out of control, thus the mass killing of your family when he thought they'd let you go. His name was Tyler Fuller."

~2259.01~

My head is ringing and I can't hear anything but a sort of static noise. My vision is still all white, but the lights that surrounded me are long gone. I can't feel anything in my body, I can't even feel my fingers. I can't move anything. I do feel something, a dull throbbing pain in my shoulder. And as the white blaring light that's highjacked my vision starts to dull, the pain in my shoulder becomes more pronounced. Like my senses are trying to start working again, but it's very slow going. I can hear what I think are very blurry and quiet versions of whispers, and the ringing is dying down.

"Doc-" The first fragment I can make out sounds like a guy's voice. He sounds...different. I'm not sure how. "Capt-" It's that same different voice, that gets fuzzy after the first syllable of whatever he's saying. He sounds...panicked? Maybe. But it's something about his voice...what is that word? It sounds so...

"Mr. Sc-" This is a different voice. It's not different like the first guy. It sounds normal. But panicked also. What the hell is that word? Ack...accident...absent...accent...adamant? No! It is accent! The first voice has an accent! And the second one doesn't.

"Can you-" Another new voice. It doesn't really have an accent, but it's strong and authoritative. The white of my vision is a lot dimmer than it started, grays and blacks creeping in to outline a lot of shapes in my close vision. One that kinda looks like a human is crouched over me, with some boxy shaped thing at his feet. Three others are nearby, and beyond them there are too many human shapes to count. All of them slightly leaning, almost curiously, towards me.

"Can you he-" The one crouched over me is trying to ask me something. But my ears only hear the first part of the question. It's funny, this one has an accent too, but I feel like it's not as strange as the first man's voice. Like it's familiar somehow. "Can you hear-" Is he asking me if I can hear him? Well I can, but not very well. Colors are starting to swirl back in with the black and white. A flash of brown and a lot of blue and tanned skin. The man leaning over me is wearing blue. He has brown hair, and tan skin. He has an accent. But...who is? Is he a doctor? Did I fall and hit my head when the lights came? Is my mom here with the man in blue? I'm sure she'll be able to tell them what happened.

"Doc, what's-" The second voice. It sounds younger than the other three. The ringing seems to be coming back, but it's fuzzy, like a lot of voices talking quietly. I suppose that must be the people behind the other three. I squint at them, willing the colors to arrive to them as well. There's one in red, with brown hair. And another person is in blue, like the one above me. But he has black hair. And the other one is in a vibrant yellow. Gold, I guess. And his hair is light. Much lighter than the others.

"I dunno Jim. I don't know how much-" I think he's saying that. I can't tell for sure. It's all blurry. But my senses are coming back faster, almost exponentially faster. Slow at first, but now the colors are taking shape and lines are getting sharper. The man above me has brown eyes, eyes that are narrowed in concern and maybe frustration. His lips are moving, but I'm only getting bits and pieces. "Her pupils...might be from...chance of concussion...infirmary." Infirmary. That's a hospital. But...where's my mom? I don't need to go to the hospital! Mom should be telling them that! I've hit my head before, I've had concussions before. I don't need to go all the way to the hospital when I just need to stay awake for a few hours and drink water.

"Bones, she's saying something." The young voice, from the one in gold I think, says. Am I trying to say something? My lips seem to be mumbling. What am I saying? No hospital? Yeah, that's it! No hospital.

"No..." I can't believe how exhausting talking is! I can barely get one word out! "No...hosp-"

"No hospital?" The man, who I now assume is a doctor, asks with a raised eyebrow.

"What's your name?" The guy in gold asks from over the doctor's shoulder.

"Jim, she's clearly still out of it." The doctor huffs at the guy.

"Lily." They both look at me instantly. "My name...is Lily."


	3. Chapter 3

~1998~

"You have a boyfriend?" Carter looks something more than amused. She always gets this way when the subject of me and boys comes up. I scowl at her, but Tyler squeezes my hand and I look at him with half a smile.

"I was lucky enough to convince her to be my girlfriend." Tyler tells Carter with a smile/smirk. Carter exchanges glances with her fiance Evan and mom and dad share a look as well. This is stupid. I knew I shouldn't have told them about Tyler and me.

"I thought you couldn't have a boyfriend if you were going to nanny." Mom points out, sounding sickeningly hopeful. She's been nothing but discouraging of my choice to nanny in England ever since our fight a few months ago. I roll my eyes and fight myself not to snap at her.

"I'm postponing my employment until next year, because the family wants to fly me over, but they wont be able to until the new year." I explain tersely. "And Tyler and I have agreed that we can always resume our relationship after I come home."

"But you'll be gone for two years. I'm sure Tyler doesn't want to wait two years for a relationship." Mom pushes. Tyler jumps in here before I can get really mad.

"Actually, I'm the one who had to convince her to still go. It's a wonderful opportunity and I think she could really be good as a nanny. And I would wait much longer than two years for the right girl. And I happen to think Lily is that girl." I can't help the blush that creeps into my cheeks, and apparently Carter can't help the snarky smirk from gracing her smug face.

"How...sweet." Carter might mean that, except for the dump truck of sarcasm that came with her words. Tyler frowns for a second before regaining his smile and squeezing my hand.

"We're off to see a movie right now. But I'd like take Lily and you guys to dinner this week. At least you, Mr and Mrs Watcher." I can tell that my family is starting to get to him, from the way we're suddenly in a hurry. The movie isn't for an hour and half, but my family could make a nun run through a whorehouse to get away from them.

"That would be nice. We look forward to it." Dad says before mom can. Mom pretends not to be bothered, but she's used to doing the talking, not dad. Sometimes I think that's all my mom does. Talk. I say a quick goodbye to the room in general before we both scramble out. I'm still muttering to myself in the car on the way to the theater.

"Your family was a lot nicer when I was just your friend and not your boyfriend." Tyler points out, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye.

"My family is pure evil. Evil that loves to torment." He sort of smiles and reaches over to grab my hand. I never saw the appeal of holding hands, but then I found Tyler. And I love holding his hand. He has really soft hands for a guy. But strong and warm as well as soft."

"What're ya gonna do though. They're your family."

"I dunno. I could always ship them off to some laboratory for experimentation." I suggest with a sly smile. He chuckles and gives me a look of mock disapproval.

"They'll come around eventually. Besides, they do have one redeeming quality. Without it I might be liable to take them out myself."

"Oh, and what is this redeeming quality that's saving them from your wrath?" I ask with a quirked eyebrow. He glances at me again and smiles.

"I don't think they'd ever give up on you. No matter what, I bet your family would never loose hope for you Lily. If they ever did, I might go crazy."

~2259.60~

I stare at Khan blankly for probably longer than I should. He must have said that wrong. It almost sounded like he said Tyler, my Tyler, killed five members of my family. Tyler couldn't have killed them. It just couldn't have been Tyler. But Khan doesn't look like he's kidding. In fact, he's frowning rather harshly, watching me absorb what he's said. Oh god. It's true then. Tyler, my Tyler, one of the only people I've really loved, killed them! He became an Augment and killed nearly all of them.

"Lily." Khan murmurs quietly, his voice full of many different emotions. The most prevalent, the most easily discernible, is concern. He's concerned about me. About what I might do now that I know what happened to them. Who happened to them.

"You...no...it wasn't Tyler." Maybe if I deny it, he'll take it back. Maybe he just said it was Tyler because I yelled at him.

"Lily." He murmurs again, this time sympathy crowning the long list of emotions.

"No! Tyler loved me! He wouldn't kill them, because I loved them and he always said he would never hurt someone who I loved!" I yell, finding myself backing away from Khan, from the whole discussion. He slowly follows me as I stumble away, meaningless words slipping from my lips as I try to wrap my head around the seriousness of this. Tyler never did like my family, because I never really liked them all that much. And he once said if he thought they'd given up on me, that he'd be liable to take them out himself. But I never thought he'd actually...that he'd...why?

"Lily, I would not lie to you." Khan insists, his voice resorting to it's usual steel again.

"Why would he do that? Why would he...he couldn't have..." My feet stumble and I nearly trip backwards, being snatched at the last second by Khan. He pulls me against his chest, ignoring my weak attempts to hit him and push him away. I don't want to cry, but as reality settles in and my mind starts to compose images of their deaths, and Tyler's part in them, the tears just fall. My arms, which are already shaking with anger and grief, go limp and I grab fistfuls of Khan's shirt to keep myself up.

I never, in a thousand million years, ever thought that I'd be in the arms of a mass murderer, and psychopath, crying my eyes out and holding desperately to him for support. But even more than that, I never thought that said psychopathic murderer would be comforting me. Shivers go up and down my spine as his hand rubs circles across my back, and I can feel vibrations cross from his chest to mine as he hushes me quietly. And despite how very much I'd love to say I hate him, I can't help but surrender myself to Khan in this moment. Despite how dangerous I know him to be, I can't help but feel alarmingly safe in his arms.

"You need rest." He tells me quietly, releasing me from his arms, but keeping a firm grip on my waist should I turn to jelly or something. He leads me to a bed, which is much bigger than the bed I had aboard the _Enterprise_ was. I sit down, but can't bring myself to lay back. I feel myself calming down from the minor panic attack I just had, but the panic is replaced by a sort of numb feeling. I feel like reality is fading away and taking the fate of my family with it, leaving an empty pit of stunned pain in it's absence. Khan smooths my hair out of my face and my eyes flick to him. "Time will help the wounds heal." He whispers soothingly.

"I don't think there will ever be enough time." He considers me for a moment before pulling back the blanket and settling himself on one side of the bed.

"It seems that way now, but it will not always."

"Has time helped you?" I scowl at him, and he frowns.

"No. I will stay with you until you sleep." He tells me, taking my hand and kind of guiding me to the empty place on the bed. I lay on my side to keep my eye on him, but he lays on his back to stare at the ceiling, looking completely at ease.

"You really suck at this trying to make yourself not seem human thing." I tell him, my natural sarcasm breaking through the wall of pain for a moment. He almost smirks before looking at me calmly.

"Maybe this is all a part of my plan." He suggests. I shake my head slightly.

"No. This moment...it's deeper than some petty plan to destroy my hope. I know it is. You're comforting me...because you know the kind of pain I'm going through." He's silent for so long that I start to think I'm completely wrong. But then he sighs.

"We shall see Lily." I don't know if it's because the numbness is fading and the sadness is coming back, or just because I liked the comfort of his arms, but I slide closer to him and pull one of his arms around me, resting my head on his chest. His deep regular breathing is alarmingly calming to me and I can't get close enough.

"Don't leave, okay?" I plea, closing my eyes as all the exhaustion of the past day or so sneaks up on me. He hesitates, maybe surprised or repulsed or maybe even happy, I'll never know.

"Alright." He agrees, his arm around me holding a little tighter. I know that I'm digging my own grave right now. That I'm snuggling with the most dangerous man, possibly in the whole universe, but I've never felt safer. Even as the pain and despair in my chest weigh me down, being here with Khan makes it a little easier to bare. I know this could all be a ploy to use me, again, but that doesn't matter. All that matters is that he's here, comforting me in the darkest moment of my life. My family is dead, they've been dead for hundreds of years, and the boy I loved killed them. But despite everything, Khan is here. He's here, not making Augments or attacking Spock for his deception. He's here protecting me from being destroyed by grief and radiating love. Not the traditional kind of love, mind you, but love all the same.

~Star Fleet HQ~

Captain James Tiberius Kirk found himself pacing his quarters as he awaited commands from up high. The _Enterprise_ was under repair from the brief firefight with the _Vengeance_, and her crew was on shore leave until orders came to pursue Khan and Lily. And Kirk found the longer he waited, the more murderous he felt towards Khan. It had been almost 24 hours already, and who knew what was happening to Lily. Lily, who when she beamed aboard immediately stole his and the whole crew's heart. Even Spock had a special liking for her.

There was a knock on his door and he stared at it for a moment before remembering that proper etiquette was to open it. He found himself wiping sweaty palms on his pant leg as he approached the door. This could be the new admiral giving him orders. Or it could be Bones, bugging him for another med exam. The doc was also starting to piss him off, continuously trying to run scans and take notes and check vitals. Jim was fine! He just needed some rest. Once they had Lily back and Khan in prison again, of course.

"Captain." Spock greeted as Jim opened the door. Jim noticeably sagged in disappointment, but moved aside so his first officer could come in. "Are you alright Captain? You appear very tense." Spock observed as Jim stalked to the little kitchenette in his quarters to pour himself a drink.

"I'm fine Spock. Have you heard anything? Are they going to send us out soon?" Jim demanded after knocking back his drink.

"The Admiral is currently in a meeting discussing the situation via communicator with the other Admirals of Star Fleet and awaiting news from the repair crew of the _Enterprise_. I would estimate that we will have our orders before morning." Jim let out a sigh of both hope and frustration. He didn't want to wait anymore, but at least there wasn't much longer to wait. "Captain, I can see that you are visibly distraught. But I do not believe that Miss Watcher-"

"Lily, Spock, her name is Lily and the only reason you refuse to call her that is because we both know how much you care about her." Jim angrily cut him off, annoyed that Spock had to be so proper even now. He knew that if it weren't for Spock's relationship with Nyota, the half-Vulcan would probably court Lily, or at least try to. Jim knew Lily was still recovering from a relationship in the past, but that she was doing her best to quickly let it go since she couldn't go back in time to regain it. If Spock tried to court her, she might not respond so well, the ghost of her old love still lingering.

"Captain, with all due respect, my personal feelings for Miss Watcher have nothing to do with the situation."

"Like hell they don't! You really liked Lily, Spock, I could see it in your eyes every time she walked in the room! And then you sent her over to the _Vengeance_ like a pawn! Like she didn't even matter!" Spock knew his captain probably had more than a few of those drinks pumping through his veins, and that Jim was nearly incapable of thinking rationally when drunk, but he too was feeling emotionally compromised at the moment and easily rose to the bait.

"Captain you know little of the situation. Lily chose to go to the _Vengeance_. She chose to save all our lives." He tried to keep his voice low, but anger seeped into his otherwise poised tone.

"Oh, she chose it, did she? She chose to be beamed onto the same ship as a murderous psychopath. And I bet it was all her idea, too, wasn't it? She had absolutely no prompting to give up her life." Jim growled.

"I did suggest to Lily that her involvement could save the Enterprise, but only because I completely, fully believed that Khan would not hurt her. As I was trying to say before, Captain, I do not believe that Lily has been harmed since she was beamed aboard the _Vengeance_." Jim scoffed and stood taller than before.

"We don't know anything about what's happened to her in the last day. We don't know if she's even alive right now. And we don't know why Khan wants her, nor what he intends to do to her. The girl of the past, the little sister of the _Enterprise_, in the hands of a ruthless Augment, because Mr. Spock told her she could save her crew." Spock felt his anger starting to bubble up, and decided it would be best to leave the captain to recover from his state, before words and actions started to come between the two of them.

"Captain." Spock muttered before leaving tensely. Jim clenched his teeth a little before throwing the bottle of liquor across the room, the bottle shattering against the wall, liquid flying in all directions. He was tired of sitting. He was tired of waiting. He couldn't leave Lily in Khan's hands any longer. The girl he treated as his sister, possibly hurt or worse, the very idea made him want to break every bottle in the room. Before he could do so, his comm beeped across the room. He muttered to himself as he stumbled over to the little device, flipping it open.

"Kirk." He grunted.

"Captain Kirk, your presence is requested in Admiral Venoff's conference room immediately." A female cadet explained concisely. Jim immediately snapped out of his angry drunken mood and soberness seemed to physically hit him in the face.

"I'll be right there." He promised and shut the comm. He scrambled to change into his formal Star Fleet uniform before splashing some water on his face and rinsing the smell of alcohol out of his mouth. It wouldn't do for the brand new admiral to think he was a drunk. After a minute of fussing over himself to make himself presentable, he grabbed his comm and his security card to make his way to the new admiral's conference room.

He must have made several new records for the time it took him to get ready and get to the conference room. It seemed like only a few minutes had passed from him getting the communication and him standing in front of the door. The guard at the door checked his ID before opening the door and letting Jim in. Jim took a moment to observe the people he found in the room. The new admiral was female, with brown hair tied back in braid, pale blue skin, and silver eyes that were bigger than human eyes, for sure. Jim couldn't name her species at the moment, but that hardly mattered. She was nice looking, with smile lines on her middle aged face, but right now a look of serious determination was settled on her features.

"Captain Kirk, please come in." She gestured to the seat next to her. Jim was a bit alarmed to find Spock seated at the table as well and the two shared a tense stare before Jim even moved to take his seat. But besides Venoff and Spock, there was also a kid he'd never seen before. And he meant a kid. The guy couldn't be much older than Chekov. Probably Lily's age actually. Kirk took the seat, situated between Admiral Venoff and Spock, and let his eyes wander back to the kid.

He was wearing a blue uniform, and had brown hair, and green eyes. He was obviously a good looking kid, probably a favorite at the Academy. But there was something about him that just unsettled Kirk. Made him think of Khan a bit.

"Let me make introductions. Captain, this is Science Officer Fuller. I've decided that he will accompany you tomorrow morning when you begin your pursuit of the fugitive Khan Noonien Singh." Venoff said curtly. Jim let out a sigh of relief. Tomorrow, only a few more hours, and they would be able to find Lily. But he still felt a little creeped out by this Fuller guy.

"All due respect, Admiral, but we already have two Science Officers aboard the Enterprise." He didn't want to appear ungrateful, but he couldn't say he was eager to let Fuller on his ship.

"Mr. Fuller has advanced training and over the past year has documented more about Augments than previously recorded in three hundred years. His knowledge will be useful in your mission." Venoff, thankfully, didn't sound offended by Jim's apprehension. Maybe a little confused, but she brushed it off as nerves on Jim's part.

"Of course, Ma'am." Jim murmured, but cast another look at Fuller.

"This meeting is dismissed, I'll see you tomorrow before you leave." Venoff stood and left before anyone could say or ask anything.

"So. What compelled you to study Augments?" Jim asked the kid, who looked perfectly at ease from across the table.

"Curiosity mostly." Fuller smirked for some reason.

"Did you ever meet the Augment in question?" Spock asked the question this time.

"A few times actually. Marcus had me work with him on several occasions." He said proudly.

"Then you know what we're up against, Mr. Fuller." Jim could not shake the feeling of intense dislike for this guy, who outwardly seemed normal enough.

"Oh believe me captain, I have extensive knowledge on the subject. And please call me Tyler. I much prefer it."

~1992~

Tyler glowered at her family from across the crowd. They were having a funeral, because Lily was presumed dead at this point, but he knew they didn't believe that. The cops said she was gone, that there was no more they could do, but Tyler knew the Watcher's still help hope for Lily. After all, people don't just vanish without a trace. They reappear somewhere. Maybe a different planet, or a different time. Maybe the future or the past. But she was somewhere. And the Watcher's, and Tyler, knew that.

Still the funeral was customary. It let Lily's more naïve friends mourn her disappearance and gave a few people closure. Yet, it was really kind of counterproductive to bury an empty coffin and call Lily dead. Because she was alive, Tyler could feel it. Not here and not now, but she was still alive. People don't just vanish.

"Tyler." He turned around to find himself facing Dayl. Tyler didn't mind Dayl. He was more tolerable than the others. A man of science and philosophy. But still, he was pompous and arrogant and Tyler could only stand so much of him. He hoped Dayl wasn't going to be too annoying. Not today. Not when he was surrounded by a bunch of idiots who were saying that the love of his life was dead.

"Dayl." Tyler acknowledged him and waited for whatever the older male would say.

"I want to talk to you about something. Something I think you'd be interested in." He gestured for Tyler to follow him away from the crowd, which he did reluctantly. Once they were safely out of earshot, Dayl cleared his throat. "I've begun work with a few other scientist trying to develop an augmented human. And I wanted to ask for your participation in the project. Tyler, we both know Lily didn't just disappear and die. She's somewhere, probably in the future, and this program could be the first step to find her in that future." Tyler could honestly say he wasn't expecting that.

"You're saying that if I participate in this program, I can find Lily." He simplified.

"Hopefully, yes. But I feel it's only fair that you know what you're getting into. I'd like for you to come to my lab tomorrow and talk with my associates about the risks and benefits." Dayl handed him a simple white business card with an address and a number on it, before patting Tyler's shoulder a bit awkwardly and walking away. Tyler stared hard at the card before looking over his shoulder at the gathering of mourning people. They were all pathetic, to give up hope so easily. But now he had proof that the Watcher's weren't done searching for Lily. That he was right. They wouldn't give up on her. And Tyler vowed he would do anything, even become an augmented human, if it meant a chance at finding Lily again.

~2259.61~

A deep low rumbling wakes me, but I come out of my sleep slowly. The rhythmic rumble is incredibly relaxing and it feels so close. As consciousness starts coming back quicker, I remember the last day. Meeting Khan aboard the _Enterprise_, ending up on the _Vengeance_ with Khan, finding out what happened to my family, finding out that I was so wrong about Tyler, and finally finding myself in bed with Khan. And that brings me to my current dilemma. Khan still has me firmly tucked under his arm, nearly crushed up against his body, and he's sound asleep still.

I can't quite hide my smile as I realize the low rumbling that woke me is Khan gently snoring. Khan Noonien Singh, fierce Augment warrior who's killed millions and is ruthlessly smart and cruel...snores. And not even a manly snore, more like a purring. It's so cute! Not that I think Khan is cute or anything. He's terrifying.

I try to ease myself from under his arm, suddenly finding myself needing to pee. When was the last time I went to the bathroom? Aboard the _Enterprise_ definitely. And fear and anxiety has distracted me until now. But seriously, I think I'm going to die in a second if I don't find a bathroom. I'm just about to slip free of Khan when his arm tightens and he pulls me back against him, my head tucked firmly under his chin.

"And where do you think you're off to?" He demands, his voice sending shock waves from his chest to mine. We're touching so much right now, we're touching more than Tyler and I ever did!

"Uh, the bathroom." I tell him squirming to loosen his hold. "It's kinda urgent." I add when he doesn't move to let me go. He gives a low chuckle before unwinding his arm from me and letting me sit up. I've never scrambled away from something so quickly, and I used to be a nanny running after children! There's only two doors in this room, and one leads to the hall, so I can only assume the other is a bathroom. I swing the door open and sigh in relief to find what I need. I don't even manage to close the door all the way in my haste, but I make it to the toilet without an embarrassing incident. I let out a long groan of relief.

"How dramatic." I hear Khan claim from beyond the door. I glare at the direction of his voice, even knowing he can't see it.

"Do Augments even need to pee?" I wonder aloud.

"Yes." His voice sounds closer. I grimace to myself as I realize I've left the door open a crack.

"Don't you dare come in here." I growl, another chuckle coming from the room beyond. I finish doing my thing and let the toilet do what it does best. There's a slow creak as the door opens from behind me and I freeze in washing my hands.

"Can I come in now?" I glance over my shoulder at Khan, who's standing in all his intimidating glory in the doorway.

"Do you have any concept of privacy? Or are personal bubbles only a human thing?" I demand sarcastically.

"You weren't complaining last night while you slept on my chest." He points out, sounding pretty snarky actually. Who knew he had sarcasm too!

"That was different. I was emotionally compromised." I state, borrowing a phrase from Spock. He slowly walks forward, making me unconsciously lean back until I'm practically sitting on the sink. He doesn't stop his predatory stalk until he's close enough to feel his body heat. I think I remember reading something about Augments and that they had higher body temperatures.

"You used me as a pillow and yet you still flinch from me." There's that sass again.

"You were the one who said you would destroy my belief in your humanity, remember. I think I'm perfectly justified in flinching." I remind him. He scowls slightly before putting his hand on my hip. I look at his pale skin on my body and subconsciously shudder. It's weird to be touched so intimately, especially by him. I cringe away slightly, and he puts his other hand on my other hip, staring down at me almost overpoweringly.

"When you decided to visit a prisoner you knew nothing about, you changed everything." He murmurs, and I almost have a hard time understanding him because my brain is racing with thoughts of how close he is and how strong his grip is and god, he smells so good.

"I'm sorry?" He smirks, getting even closer if possible.

"Am I making you uncomfortable with my proximity?" As if it's not obvious to him. I swallow the lump in my throat and am about to say something when his hands slide up to my sides, so light it almost tickles. Another shudder goes through me and my hands instinctively grab his arms to make him stop.

"Why are you doing this? Why me and not Carol Marcus or Nyota Uhura?" They're both beautiful, successful, brilliant women! Why isn't he feeling one of them up?

"If I wanted Carol Marcus or Nyota Uhura, I would have them. But neither of them are anything like you." He purrs.

"Yeah, they're actually nice. And tolerable. And they aren't stupid enough to engage with an Augment." He tsks quietly, his hands roaming again until one settles on the small of my back and the other at the base of my neck. He pulls me flush against him, a furious blush lighting up my cheeks and my hands gripping his shoulders for support again. I can feel his eyes roaming the features of my face, almost like he's committing it to memory. To say I'm uncomfortable with his intensity is perhaps the most sever understatement in the history of ever. Before I can say as much, and beg for him to stop all this, he presses his lips against my forehead, then my cheek, and then my lips.

My heart jumps to my throat and if I didn't still have that little speck of sanity in my brain, I would totally kiss him back. But as it is, that speck is currently screaming at me that this is bad. That Khan kissing me is the worst thing that could ever happen. Because if he's kissing me, he has feelings for me, Khan isn't one to just kiss everybody, I know that much.. And if Khan would kill an entire star ship of innocent people to get to his crew, what would he do if said star ship came and took me away from him? What lengths would he go to in order to get me back? Augments are fiercely protective of their lovers, I remember reading about it. They took many lovers, but those they chose were never allowed out of their sight. There's even a story that an Augment destroyed an entire state searching for a woman who had escaped him.

"K-Khan!" I try to push away from him, but frankly it's like pushing on a steel door that's bolted to a brick wall that's in front of two tons of explosives. I can't push him too hard or he might completely blow up, but this can't happen. I can't put people in danger because I'm interesting. He growls at my pathetic resistance but stops trying to claim my lips as his own. "This is insane. And frankly, not really in the mood! I just found out my last boyfriend killed almost my whole family, I am not looking for another one." His smile is more mocking than probably any I've seen so far.

"I thought you were in need of comfort." He's still so close, his lips are practically moving against my cheek. It's a bizarre and extremely intimate motion, more intimate than anything I did with Tyler. Holding hands and snuggling during movies, and light making out, is about as far as we ever got. Now I'm glad for that. But this is so personal, so intense.

"This is your form of comfort?" I choke out as his mouth moves across my throat. He only chuckles in answer, his hand slowly traveling down my neck. I can't believe this is happening right now! I mean, I never really pictured myself as a person who would get this intimate with someone. I always thought I'd get married and after a few years I'd be comfortable enough to maybe have sex. But this is happening right now! And that's what scares me more than the idea of an Augment being romantically interested in me. "N-No! You have to stop!" I squeak out in alarm when his hand threatens to wander.

"And why do I need to stop?" He demands in annoyance.

"We've known each other for all of one day!"

"And we know each other remarkably well for that one day." He smirks, his hands dropping to my waist. I let out an embarrassing squeal as he lifts me and shoves me back onto the sink. The faucet digs uncomfortably into my back, but I press further back, trying to worm away from his greedy hands and lips.

"Khan, please, I don't want this!" I protest, weakly pushing against his chest while his lips wander my neck, sucking and kissing in a manner that's a step beyond intimate. "I can't do this!" I yell, managing to force my knee into his stomach. He barely even grunts at my pathetic attempt to ward him off. In fact it only seems to spur him on.

"If not now, when? When will I have you in such a deliciously fragile state again?" He purrs against my skin. Before I can even answer, he lifts me over his shoulder and promptly turns out of the bathroom, not even noticing my alarmed flailing. My back meets with the still ruffled sheets and before I can even sit up, Khan has me pinned beneath him. He traps my wrists in his hands, above my head, and his lips go back to assaulting my lips and neck. His knees are on either side of me, keeping me effectively trapped.

Despite myself, I can't help but think this is kind of hot. I mean, there's nothing cute about Khan, he's all kinds of manly gorgeousness. The thought that he wants me, that we're doing this right now...it makes me feel kinda special. But probably not the kind of special that's good for my health. Khan is attractive and smart and powerful. But he's also dangerous and he could hurt me or my friends in a second. In half a second.

I gasp in pure shock when I feel the hardness pressing against me. And Khan too looks confused by his body. He stops his caressing and just looks down at me quizzically. My breath is ragged and I cant stop blushing. The hard on isn't going away, if anything I think it's increasing. And it's more than uncomfortable, for the both of us. But, the way Khan is looking at me right now...it's like he doesn't know what's happening. Like he's never...oh god.

"Khan..." I breath. He lets me squirm away this time. I nearly trip over my feet as I back away from the bed, from him. My back hits the dresser and I stare at him in a mixture of shock and fear. That was way too real. Way too close.

For his part, Khan looks like he's quickly coming back from whatever kind of lust high that was. He composes his face before standing stoically and practically marching out of the room, the door shutting with a hiss when he leaves. I can't move for a long, long time after he's gone. What the hell have I gotten into?

~_USS Enterprise_~

Spock didn't know why he disliked Science Officer Fuller so much, but every time the young man entered a room, Spock immediately found himself in a bad mood. He was not the only one, he noticed. The captain appeared to hold a deep contempt for Fuller, maybe even deeper than Spock's.

"Captain, I request access to your computer codes." Jim looked up in surprise at his first officer. They had both been sitting quietly in the rec room, and suddenly Spock wants his computer codes? Jim looked around to be sure they were alone in their conversation and caught sight of Tyler Fuller. He noticed that Spock too was looking towards Tyler, and he frowned.

"You want to research Tyler I'm guessing?" Jim guessed, with a slightly smile of amusement.

"Affirmative captain." Spock did not look happy.

"Well good luck with that Spock, I already tried. His life is an open book, nothing out of line, not even a detention in school." Jim was frowning in frustration. He'd spent hours trying to dig up everything about Tyler Fuller, and the most he got was that Tyler apparently led the most boring life imaginable, with just the bare minimum to confirm he even lived!

"I find it very hard to believe that with Mr. Fuller's apparent intellect and achievements, that his history is so scarce." Spock voiced exactly what Jim was thinking.

"Yeah, well, the Admiral seems to trust him in any case." Jim muttered.

"Just as Admiral Marcus trusted John Harrison?" Spock lifted a perfect eyebrow, and Jim nearly spit out his drink. He coughed for a good few seconds before he glared icily at his first officer. People started looking at them, so Jim excused himself and gestured for Spock to follow. Once he was sure they were safe from listening ears, he turned on the half-Vulcan.

"Are you implying what I think you're implying?" Jim demanded.

"I am suspicious as to Fuller's intentions, as well as his genetics." Spock sounded so calm, despite the implication of his words.

"You have no evidence of any of that Spock. And we can't just accuse the Admiral's Science Officer of being an Augment." While Jim did have a point, Spock couldn't brush off the feeling he got from Fuller. It was a deeply wrong feeling, a feeling he only got around one other person. "I'll give you the computer codes, but don't be surprised when you don't find anything." He added when Spock frowned. Spock nodded shortly, obviously not pleased with his captain's logic, even though it was sound logic. He couldn't accuse anyone without evidence. But that didn't mean he wasn't going to try to find the answer. He was sure that Fuller was hiding something, and he was sure he knew what it was.

"Thank you Captain." Jim quickly scrawled down his codes and handed them to Spock, who turned on his heals to retire to his quarters. They were actively tracking the Vengeance, but Khan did have quite a lead on them, especially considering the advancements of the ship they were pursuing. It would be some time before there was any action. Jim hated it. Because he couldn't stop thinking about Lily. If she were here, she'd probably be scolding Jim and Spock for thinking poorly of someone they didn't know. But then again, Lily didn't think badly of Khan when she'd first met him, and now look where she was.

He heard dull, running footsteps and turned, half expecting to see a barefoot Lily running towards him. Instead he saw Chekov, who was naturally light on his feet, rushing off somewhere. But it made his heart ache slightly to remember Lily, the way she would charge through the _Enterprise_ like she owned the ship. She knew it better than Jim probably did. She was just so curious and a natural explorer. He missed her.

With a huff, Jim returned to the rec room and collapsed into a seat next to Uhura. She hardly even acknowledged him, her nose buried in a book about some alien language. Instead Jim found himself staring intently at Fuller across the room. The kid looked like a natural at making friends. He had a full table around him, and they all looked like they enjoyed him. But to Jim it looked like it was forced on Fuller's part. That he knew exactly what to say to make people like him, but he didn't really want them too regardless. A survival technique. Who was this guy?

~_USS Vengeance_~

I jump when the door to my room slides back open, admitting Khan. He's looking at the ground with a glare that speaks of intense frustration. I feel like every second he just stands there, my heart beats faster and faster. Finally his eyes flick to me and I flinch.

"Are...are you okay?" I manage to ask, my voice quiet. I'm still not sure exactly what happened earlier. What brought it on, and what stopped it. Khan looked so shocked with himself before he stormed out. Maybe that's why he looks so frustrated now. I would ask, but I feel like I've already pushed my luck for one day.

"I...apologize...for my behavior this morning." Well that just sounded painful. Not to mention a complete surprise! I wonder if he's ever apologized to anyone before me. And if so, why start now? He looks at me expectantly for a moment before I find my voice.

"Uh, yeah. I...I'm sorry too." I manage to stutter out.

"Why should you apologize? It was I who initiated the events." He sounds so angry with himself. Like he's disappointed in himself.

"But, I mean, it takes two to do...stuff." I'm blushing furiously, and I think if he were any less of a proud person, he might be blushing too. But it's Khan, so...no. He quickly transverses the room and sits lightly on the edge of the bed. I unconsciously flinch a bit, keeping a close eye on him.

"I have never had such a strong yearning like that." He admits, and I'm a bit shocked. So I was right, he never had a hard on before this morning. Well this is awkward.

"I just can't believe that with all your power and stuff that you never got with chicks during your reign." I murmur, and he whips around quite quickly.

"I'm disgusted by the thought. I saw other augments take advantage of their power over women, and it was repulsive. The idea that an augment would stoop to such non emotional encounters to satiate such a primal need. It's no better than prostitution." He states, practically spitting the word out.

"You prefer honor and love and stuff like that." I guess, and he nods. "And you decided to choose me for that because...why? I'm not exactly the kind of girl who sits on the side and watches her man take over the world." A slightly smile touches his lips. He gently reaches towards me and brushes my hair behind my ear.

"I think that is precisely the reason I want you. You are different." I look down, biting my bottom lip for a moment.

"Khan, not two days ago you promised to prove to me that you were not human, you said you would destroy me hope for you. And now you're saying you want me. You can see why I'm confused, can't you?" He slides closer, taking hold of my hand.

"I know what I said. But I saw you broken last night. I saw all the hope in your eyes fade. And it hurt me." His eyes are so heavy, so overpowering as he talks. "I have never wanted to protect someone more fully than I did when you looked at me with hopeless eyes. And this morning, when you acted as though nothing was wrong, despite the knowledge of what happened to your family...I have never seen such strength. If I thought that my crew was harmed, I would kill those responsible."

"Well Marcus is dead, so yeah, I believe that." I whisper. "What if I wasn't strong? What if I spent all day crying my eyes out?" He smirks.

"You would not. That is not who you are." He's getting closer and closer, and I really don't want a repeat of this morning. So I clear my throat and slip my hand from his.

"I still owe you a question." I remind him, hoping that it will get his mind off where this intimate moment is going. He frowns slightly, knowing exactly what I'm doing, but nods.

"Indeed you do. So tell me Lily, what stopped your self injury?" As he asks, he grabs my arm and starts tracing scars. "These have been sealed for years. Two, I'd bet." He murmurs to himself.

"I stopped cutting on my arms when I got the nanny job. So I could wear short sleeves to take care of the kids. I used this lotion stuff to make them heal really quick. It worked too. By the time I went to England, no one would be the wiser. I could just say I had a cat. But I continued in secret, on my legs, until I was beamed to this time." He frowns even more, his grip on my arm tightening. I wince, but he hardly seems to notice.

"Why did you stop then and not when you had children depending on you?"

"Because I couldn't stop. No one knew about what I was doing, so it wasn't hurting anyone or anything. It was just easy to keep doing it. But when I beamed here, Bones saw them. He had to give me a physical, to make sure I wasn't messed up inside from the spontaneous beaming. He told Spock, and the two of them were the ones who helped me stop." A dark looks floods Khan's eyes. It almost looks like jealousy.

"The Vulcan?" He snarls.

"What about him?" I ask, flinching back at his ferocity. He notices and lightens considerably. He strokes my cheek, even though I'm hesitant to let him.

"I am a very possessive man, Lily. I did not mean to startle you, but the thought of him being at all close to you, especially in an emotional way, angers me." He tells me, his voice soft, but the threat behind it very real.

"That doesn't seem fair to me. If I can't be around my friends just because you're jealous." I remark, sliding off the bed and pacing towards the window. We're still at warp, we must really be going far away. He slides his arm around my stomach before I can even reach the window, pulling me back against his chest.

"If I were being fair, I would return you to the _Enterprise_, to you _friends_. But here we are, running to the furthest edge of the galaxy. A place where you are mine, and only mine." I can't help the shudder that goes up my spine.

"And if I don't want to be yours?" I know it's probably a stupid question. I shouldn't challenge him, especially since I don't think I'd mind terribly being with him. But I miss my friends, my "family". I don't want to run to the edge of the galaxy.

"Then I don't think you have a choice." He snarls. In a second my back is to the wall and he's crushing his lips to mine. My heart jumps to my throat in pure fear and I struggle as hard as possible, hitting his chest and kicking at his shins. He growls and grinds his hips against mine, making me gasp. There's no denying he's aroused. Just like there's no denying I'm terrified.

"P-please! Khan please no!" I gasp again, digging my nails into his shoulders.

"It's too late for that now Lily. You are mine. And only mine." His lips suck hard at my throat, I'm sure leaving a mark, and I let out a sob of surprise. "If any man touches you, I will kill him." He makes another mark on the other side of my neck, this one more vicious. "If you ever think of running from me, know that I will find you. There is no place int his galaxy that can hide you from me." Khan stops his assault to look me dead in the eye. I feel tears sliding down my cheeks at his sudden brutality. "Say it." He orders, pressing harder against me. "You are mine."

I can't say anything for what feels like too long. But he patiently stares me down, waiting for my submission. I hiccup slightly, a miniscule smile touching the corners of his lips. It almost looks adoring, but I don't feel adored. I feel afraid. I feel trapped.

"I...I'm yours."


End file.
